{"id":6549,"date":"2026-08-25T18:42:03","date_gmt":"2026-08-25T15:42:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=6549"},"modified":"2026-08-25T18:42:04","modified_gmt":"2026-08-25T15:42:04","slug":"mahzenime-hos-geldiniz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/mahzenime-hos-geldiniz","title":{"rendered":"Mahzenime Ho\u015f Geldiniz"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 4 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u015f\u0131klar g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc al\u0131yor. \u00dczerimde uzun, bebek mavisi, par\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 bir elbiseyle koskoca<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sahnede tek ba\u015f\u0131may\u0131m. Ellerim titrer gibi, ad\u0131mlar\u0131m g\u00fcvensiz\u2026 Kalbim mi? O ise f\u0131rsat<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bulsa \u015furac\u0131kta b\u0131rakacak atmay\u0131. Zihnimde beliren tonla ses bana burada da e\u015flik ediyor, t\u0131pk\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n

her gece oldu\u011fu gibi. Siz hi\u00e7 merak etmeyin, hepsiyle bar\u0131\u015f imzalayamasak da varl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n

kabul ediyorum art\u0131k. Zihnimde yer edinebilirsin ama kontrol bende diyebiliyorum. \u015eefkatli<\/p>\n\n\n\n

biri olabilmenin ilk ko\u015fulunun kendimden ge\u00e7ti\u011fini art\u0131k biliyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130tiraf ediyorum, sahnede olmak beni \u00e7ok korkutuyor ama hi\u00e7bir zaman korkular\u0131n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

cesaretimi dindirmesine izin vermiyorum. Can\u0131m yansa da devam ediyorum, k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131ma<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ra\u011fmen yeniden deniyorum, bana sunulan ya\u015famla yetinmemek i\u00e7in uyanabildi\u011fim her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sabah\u0131ma rengarenk ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. Bu renkler bazen siyah\u0131n karamsarl\u0131\u011f\u0131na bazen pembenin<\/p>\n\n\n\n

naifli\u011fine kimi zaman mavinin \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcyor. Hepsinin benim kalbimden bir par\u00e7a<\/p>\n\n\n\n

oldu\u011funu bilecek olgunluktay\u0131m. \u0130nsano\u011flu olumsuzluklar\u0131 kendine kondurmamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r<\/p>\n\n\n\n

durur hayat\u0131 boyunca. \u0130nsan kendi i\u00e7inde iyili\u011fin ayd\u0131nl\u0131k sahnesiyle beraber, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn<\/p>\n\n\n\n

karanl\u0131k mahzenine de sahiptir. I\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 sahnemizi t\u00fcm d\u00fcnyaya duyurmak i\u00e7in can atar\u0131z belki<\/p>\n\n\n\n

de. Peki ya mahzenlerimiz? \u0130\u00e7imizde en kuytuda kalm\u0131\u015f yere iteleriz. Kimse g\u00f6rmezse hi\u00e7 var<\/p>\n\n\n\n

olmam\u0131\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131r\u0131z. \u0130nsano\u011flunun maskeleri tam da bu esnada ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131verir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maskelerle uzun vakitler ge\u00e7irmek bizi yan\u0131ltabiliyor. Olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z biri gibi<\/p>\n\n\n\n

davranmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yoruz. Kahkahalar\u0131m\u0131z, duru\u015fumuz, hayallerimiz, sevdi\u011fimiz ve huzur<\/p>\n\n\n\n

buldu\u011fumuz yerler bile bazen \u00fczerimize yap\u0131\u015fan bir maskeden ibaret olabiliyor. Belki de<\/p>\n\n\n\n

benli\u011fime eri\u015femezlerse bize de zarar veremezler diye avutuyoruz kendimizi. Kimi zaman ise<\/p>\n\n\n\n

insan kabul edilebilir biri oldu\u011funa inanmak istiyor. Halihaz\u0131rda oldu\u011fumuz halimiz \u00e7ok<\/p>\n\n\n\n

anla\u015f\u0131las\u0131 olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen kal\u0131plar\u0131n g\u00fcvenli ama sahte y\u00f6nleriyle kendimizi sar\u0131p<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sarmal\u0131yoruz. Ben sizi spot \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131yla d\u00f6\u015feli, herkesin bay\u0131la bay\u0131la izledi\u011fi klasikle\u015fmi\u015f<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

sahneden al\u0131p kendi karanl\u0131k mahzenime davet ediyorum.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Olabildi\u011fince b\u00fcy\u00fck bir bah\u00e7edeyim. Lavanta kokular\u0131 burnuma hep pek ho\u015f gelmi\u015ftir,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

san\u0131rsam \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumun b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc g\u00fcnlerinden bir par\u00e7a ta\u015f\u0131yorlar. Bah\u00e7emin bir yan\u0131n\u0131n bir<\/p>\n\n\n\n

zamanlar nergislerle dolup ta\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemeden edemeyece\u011fim. Her ne kadar kendilerine<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hayran olsam da her daim bah\u00e7emi renklendirdiklerini s\u00f6yleyemem. Nergislerim i\u00e7in her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sabah uyan\u0131p sular\u0131n\u0131, g\u00fcbrelerini kontrol ettim. Aylarca hatta y\u0131llarca u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m dahi oldu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hi\u00e7 uyumadan saatlerce onlarla konu\u015ftum, bazen yemek dahi yemedim \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc nergisleriminkokusu benim i\u00e7in d\u00fcnyaya bedeldi. Y\u0131llar s\u00fcren m\u00fccadelenin sonunda her a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131na<\/p>\n\n\n\n

inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m nergis bana yaln\u0131zca hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131yla geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Ben de pes ettim demek<\/p>\n\n\n\n

isterdim fakat \u00f6yle olmad\u0131. Hala u\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z bir nergis bah\u00e7esi istiyorum. Peki \u201cDi\u011fer<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00e7i\u00e7eklerin hakk\u0131na girmiyor musun?\u201d diyecek olursan\u0131z; evet, san\u0131r\u0131m bazen ben de herkes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

gibi haks\u0131zl\u0131k edebiliyorum. Mahzenime ho\u015f geldiniz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hayatta ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za neyin gelip gelmeyece\u011fini biz se\u00e7miyor olabiliriz. Elimizde olanlarla<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ise yaln\u0131zca bizi ilgilendirir. Ben solmaya y\u00fcz tutmu\u015f bah\u00e7elerime s\u0131rt\u0131m\u0131<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d\u00f6nmemeyi tercih ediyorum. Belki harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00e7aban\u0131n yeti\u015fen nergislere de\u011fmeyece\u011fini<\/p>\n\n\n\n

d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnenleriniz vard\u0131r. Nihayetinde denemeden bilinemez. Ya\u015fam\u0131n bendeki anlam\u0131, kendi<\/p>\n\n\n\n

benli\u011fimle iz b\u0131rakabildi\u011fim bir \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcrmek. Bunu ise yaln\u0131zca sahneye \u00e7\u0131karak yapamam<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bazen mahzenimin derinliklerinde kaybolmay\u0131 g\u00f6ze almam gerekir. Dilerim ki buraya kadar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

bana e\u015flik eden herkes, ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131n bast\u0131\u011f\u0131 her yerde kendini bulabildi\u011fi, ruhunu evinde<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hissetti\u011fi bir \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcrer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendi ritminizle kal\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yazar: Melike Karaba\u015f<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00f6rsel kayna\u011f\u0131 yapay zek\u00e2 ile olu\u015fturuldu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cBen sizi spot \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131yla d\u00f6\u015feli, herkesin bay\u0131la bay\u0131la izledi\u011fi klasikle\u015fmi\u015f
\nsahneden al\u0131p kendi karanl\u0131k mahzenime davet ediyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6550,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMahzenime Ho\u015f Geldiniz | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/mahzenime-hos-geldiniz\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mahzenime Ho\u015f Geldiniz | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta 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