{"id":5872,"date":"2025-08-23T21:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-23T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=5872"},"modified":"2025-08-22T20:38:30","modified_gmt":"2025-08-22T17:38:30","slug":"istanbul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/istanbul","title":{"rendered":"\u0130stanbul"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 5 dakikad\u0131r.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 Sevgili okur,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir yolun sonundan merhaba! Uzun soluklu, \u00e7etrefilli ancak b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc manzaralarla donanm\u0131\u015f bir yolun biti\u015finin e\u015fi\u011finde soluklan\u0131yorum \u015fimdi. Ben h\u00fczn\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcrekkebine ak\u0131tan, hayallerinin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 c\u00fcmlelere bindiren ve mutluluklar\u0131na b\u00fcy\u00fck harflerle ba\u015flayan eksiltili c\u00fcmleyim, arada bir zihinlerinize konuk olan. Bug\u00fcn ise sizlere veda etmeye geldim; \u00f6yle \u201cHo\u015f\u00e7a kal.\u201d diyerek de\u011fil ama, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc biliyorum ki zaten ho\u015f\u00e7a kalacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Bu y\u00fczden ho\u015f geldiniz, zihnimin durmak bilmeyen ak\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131nda k\u00fcrek \u00e7ekmeye son kez, ho\u015f geldiniz.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130stanbul\u2019un kirlenmi\u015f, kalabal\u0131k sokaklar\u0131nda h\u0131zla ilerliyordu. Sol taraf\u0131nda soyulmu\u015f binalar\u0131n soluk rengi ile bezeli bir cadde, sa\u011f taraf\u0131nda kafelerin s\u0131ral\u0131 asker gibi dizildi\u011fi ba\u015fka bir sokak bulunuyordu. Mart\u0131lar var g\u00fcc\u00fc ile ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor, sanki orada olduklar\u0131n\u0131 herkese duyurmak istiyordu. O ise b\u00fct\u00fcn varolu\u015fuyla ba\u015fka bir yere ait gibi hissediyordu. Bedeni, ba\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011fu bir vir\u00fcs\u00fc kan\u0131ksar gibi m\u00fccadele ediyordu ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n de\u011fdi\u011fi toprakla. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oysa en b\u00fcy\u00fck \u015fairlerin kalemine s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u0130stanbul. Onca kitab\u0131n ba\u015frol\u00fc olmu\u015f, bir\u00e7ok \u015fark\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6znesine konumlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onun i\u00e7in ise a\u011fz\u0131 bozuk bir insan gibiydi; savruk d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri olan, yalpalayan ve herkese sata\u015fan bir insan\u0131 and\u0131r\u0131yordu sadece. Ne bir lirikalitesi vard\u0131, ne de \u00f6yle efsaneviydi sil\u00fceti K\u0131z Kulesi\u2019nin. Birbirinden bihaber ya\u015fam formlar\u0131yla doluydu yaln\u0131zca. Birbirlerinin yan\u0131ndan h\u0131zla ge\u00e7ip gidiyorlar, muhtemelen ayn\u0131 sil\u00fceti ikinci defa g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorlard\u0131 bile. Di\u011ferleri, etraf\u0131na konu\u015flanm\u0131\u015f \u00f6ylesine bir dekorasyondu i\u015fte. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f alan\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 an \u00f6nemini yitiriyordu insanlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 yava\u015flat\u0131p soluklanmak i\u00e7in duraksad\u0131. Bu tozu dumana katan \u015fehirde kendisi hari\u00e7 kimse soluklanmak istemiyordu sanki. Herkes hayat\u0131na kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden devam ediyordu, hatta etraf\u0131ndan ge\u00e7ip gidenler ona yollar\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kan bir engelmi\u015f gibi bak\u0131yorlard\u0131. Bu duruma i\u00e7ten i\u00e7e g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi, onlar taraf\u0131nca biraz olsun g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr olmak ho\u015funa gitmi\u015fti. Sanki sonunda birileri, onun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etmi\u015fti. Bu kadar yaln\u0131z bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncenin \u00f6znesi olmak y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc buru\u015fturdu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130stanbul\u2019un izole bir kalabal\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. Herkes bir \u015fekilde da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k ve \u00f6zensiz bir toplulu\u011fun par\u00e7as\u0131yd\u0131lar ancak bu toplulu\u011fun i\u00e7inde tekil olarak vard\u0131lar. \u0130\u015fte tam da bu y\u00fczden buraya ait hissedememi\u015fti hi\u00e7. Uzaktan bak\u0131nca vah\u015fi ve korkutucu, yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a ise ac\u0131 \u00e7eken bir canavar\u0131 and\u0131r\u0131yordu \u0130stanbul. Belki de bu hipokrat \u015fehri kendisine benzetiyordu. Kendisi de i\u00e7inin b\u00fct\u00fcn kalabal\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ra\u011fmen bir \u015fekilde izole hissediyordu. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n i\u00e7inde ama onlardan uzak\u2026 Belki de tam da bu y\u00fczden \u0130stanbul\u2019dan biraz da \u00e7ekiniyordu. Nihayetinde insan, fark\u0131nda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn yanlar\u0131yla d\u00fcnya arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla kavga ediyordu.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ad\u0131m atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 tekrar. Nereye gitti\u011finin pek de bir \u00f6nemi yoktu \u015fu an. Tek istedi\u011fi tan\u0131mak istemedi\u011fi bu \u015fehrin sesine kulak vermekti. Belki de insan en \u00e7ok duymak istemediklerine kulak verir, g\u00f6rmek istemediklerine bakard\u0131.<\/em> <\/em><\/strong>Kim bilirdi ki bunu ne i\u00e7in yapard\u0131? \u0130stanbul, b\u00fct\u00fcn u\u011fultusuyla zihninin i\u00e7inde dola\u015f\u0131yordu. Seyyar sat\u0131c\u0131lar, sokak sanat\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131, etrafta ko\u015fturan ayaklar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131plak \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n sesi, iyi giyimli kad\u0131nlar\u0131n topuklu ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131, gen\u00e7 o\u011flanlar\u0131n sans\u00fcrs\u00fcz konu\u015fmalar\u0131\u2026 Her biri ayn\u0131 anda \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yordu kulaklar\u0131nda. Demek ki \u0130stanbul\u2019un sesi buna benziyordu: kaotik bir d\u00fczene. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu sesler garip bir harmoni i\u00e7indeydi. Bu vaziyete biraz \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Bu \u015fehir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden dahi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcn ta kendisiydi, i\u00e7inde anlams\u0131z insan \u00f6bekleri bulunduran. Oysa hepsi bir araya geldi\u011finde kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131za usulca f\u0131s\u0131ldayan bir melodiye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu. \u0130stanbul, yaln\u0131zca dinleyenlerin anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 eski bir \u015fark\u0131yd\u0131 sanki. Belki de bu y\u00fczden hep \u015fark\u0131lara misafir ediliyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e bu \u015fehrin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc kadar da canavara benzemedi\u011fini fark etti, birbirine a\u015fkla bakan insanlar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc \u00f6nce. Sonra yard\u0131mla\u015fan insanlar\u0131 yakalad\u0131 g\u00f6zleri tek t\u00fck. Her ad\u0131m\u0131nda biraz daha insanla\u015ft\u0131 \u0130stanbul. Kusuru olan ve hatalar yapan iyi bir insan\u0131 and\u0131rd\u0131 birden. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme sindi, bu \u015fehirle bar\u0131\u015f\u0131yor gibiydi. \u0130\u00e7inde hala korku vard\u0131 ancak \u015fimdi, kendisiyle y\u00fczle\u015fir gibi y\u00fczle\u015fti\u011fi \u0130stanbul ona en az aynadaki sil\u00fceti kadar masum gelmi\u015fti. Y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme geni\u015fledi. Ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0131zland\u0131rd\u0131 ve yaln\u0131z kalabal\u0131\u011fa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsanlar da b\u00f6yleydi; uzaktan bak\u0131nca can yakard\u0131k ama i\u00e7ten i\u00e7e can \u00e7eki\u015firdik. Yard\u0131m eli uzat\u0131r, bize uzanan elleri s\u0131k\u0131ca tutard\u0131k. \u0130stanbul, bizim gibiyi i\u015fte. Biz de yan\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7ip gidenlere ra\u011fmen devam ederdik ya\u015famaya. Sonra, kaotik bir d\u00fczenimiz vard\u0131 bizim de durmadan anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z. Bir lirikalitesi yoktu belki suretimizin ancak ba\u015fka ruhlar\u0131 melodilere d\u00f6ker, ya\u015fam denen me\u015fgalenin y\u00fcre\u011fimizdeki iziyle dans ederdik. Velhas\u0131l kelam, biz \u0130stanbul\u2019a benzeyen koca bir \u015fehirdik: kalabal\u0131k ama yaln\u0131z, korkun\u00e7 ama masum, canavara benzeyen insanlard\u0131k. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Almina Kesler<\/p>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/pin.it\/43sVXKZir<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Nihayetinde insan, fark\u0131nda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn yanlar\u0131yla d\u00fcnya arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla kavga ediyordu.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5873,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,784],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n\u0130stanbul | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/istanbul\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u0130stanbul | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden 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