{"id":5170,"date":"2024-05-02T09:00:20","date_gmt":"2024-05-02T06:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=5170"},"modified":"2024-04-28T18:03:03","modified_gmt":"2024-04-28T15:03:03","slug":"yildizlari-dusleme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/yildizlari-dusleme","title":{"rendered":"Y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 D\u00fc\u015fleme"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 3 dakikad\u0131r.)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Onunla bir k\u0131\u015f mevsiminde tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKelimeler de say\u0131lar kadar sonsuz\u2026\u201d demi\u015fti. \u201cKi\u015fi yeter ki anlatmak istesin. Sonsuz yolla yapabilir bunu.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonsuz yollardan birka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015fti bana. \u015eiir yazmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretti mesela, kelimelerle oyun oynard\u0131 \u00e2deta. A\u00e7an bir \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fin umudu simgeledi\u011fini, bu y\u00fczden bahar\u0131n umut ay\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti. Umudu anlatman\u0131n onlarca yolundan yaln\u0131zca birisini g\u00f6stermi\u015f, geri kalan\u0131 bulmay\u0131 bana b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Umudun ne oldu\u011funu o \u00e2n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ben de.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

K\u0131\u015f vakti \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f \u00e7i\u00e7eklerin yeniden dirilmesini and\u0131r\u0131yormu\u015f umut. Bir \u015feyler son buldu san\u0131rken daha g\u00fczel haliyle geri gelmesini temsil ediyormu\u015f. Her yeri karanl\u0131k kaplam\u0131\u015fken bir noktada \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rebilmek, g\u00f6remesek de var oldu\u011funa inanabilmekmi\u015f. Karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n da\u011f\u0131laca\u011f\u0131na, kalbin yeni a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek gibi ferahlayaca\u011f\u0131na inanabilmekmi\u015f umut.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00fcm bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce esintileri zihnimin i\u00e7inde f\u0131rt\u0131nalar olu\u015ftururken yine de umudu tasvir edecek en do\u011fru yolu bulamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc benim umutlar\u0131m\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7acaklar\u0131 bir g\u00fcne\u015fi yoktu. Karanl\u0131\u011fa \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutacak bir fener uzanm\u0131yordu benim umutlar\u0131ma. Ben okyanusun ortas\u0131nda y\u00fcz\u00fcyorken bir anda ku\u015f gibi kanatlan\u0131p y\u0131ld\u0131zlara ula\u015fmay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcyordum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla kelimelerim de s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 kal\u0131yordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O, umudumu insanlar \u00fczerine kurdu\u011fumu anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 vakit \u201c\u0130nsanlar\u0131n seni ne kadar k\u0131sa s\u00fcrede unuttu\u011funu fark etseydin, onlara bu kadar de\u011fer bi\u00e7mezdin.\u201d demi\u015fti. \u00d6nemli miydi peki insanlar\u0131n unutmas\u0131?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130nsan sonras\u0131nda hat\u0131rlanmak i\u00e7in mi ya\u015far t\u00fcm hayat\u0131n\u0131?\u201d dedim. M\u00fchim olan var oldu\u011fum m\u00fcddet\u00e7e b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m izlerdi nezdimde. Unutulmamak gibi bir niyetim yoktu. Yoklu\u011fumun yaras\u0131n\u0131 insanlar\u0131n kalbine \u00e7izmeyi neden isteyim ki?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131r, insan yaln\u0131zca kendisi i\u00e7in ya\u015far.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKendim i\u00e7in \u00e7abal\u0131yorum ben de zaten. De\u011fer g\u00f6rmek kadar de\u011fer vermek de bir ihtiya\u00e7. Sevilmeyen kalp ne kadar ta\u015fla\u015f\u0131rsa sevmeyen kalp de bir o kadar yosun tutar. Neresinde hata var benim verdi\u011fim de\u011ferin?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOrtada bir hata yok.\u201d demi\u015fti homurdanarak. \u201c\u0130nsan de\u011fer verdi\u011fi yerden de\u011fer g\u00f6rme umudu ta\u015f\u0131r her zaman. B\u00f6ylesine bo\u015f umutlar insan\u0131n ruhunu parampar\u00e7a ediyor, yapma. Ya verme y\u00fcre\u011finin derinlerinden gelecek sevgiyi, ya da sana geri d\u00f6nece\u011fine dair umudunu s\u00f6k at yerinden.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Umudu s\u00f6k\u00fcp atmak kolay m\u0131yd\u0131 o kadar? Ki\u015fi, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bulma umuduyla m\u0131 severdi her zaman? Bencil olamazd\u0131 bu kadar bir insan. Bo\u015f umutlar\u2026 Bir kelimenin bu kadar can\u0131m\u0131 yakaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmezdim. Y\u0131ld\u0131zlara ula\u015fma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn bo\u015f bir umuttan ibaret oldu\u011funu, bunu s\u00f6yledi\u011fi zaman fark etmi\u015ftim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kelimelerimin yava\u015f yava\u015f sonsuzlu\u011fa ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlam\u0131na m\u0131 geliyordu bu? Oysa ben her biri teker teker kesilmi\u015f de cesetlerinden akan kanlar y\u00fcre\u011fime daml\u0131yormu\u015f gibi hissediyordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Onunla bir bahar g\u00fcn\u00fc vedala\u015ft\u0131k.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7i\u00e7ekler a\u00e7t\u0131, ger\u00e7ek bir umut kaplad\u0131 do\u011fan\u0131n d\u00f6rt bir yan\u0131n\u0131 fakat o umudun \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 benim karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ayd\u0131nlatmaya yetmedi. Ve ben onu halen unutamad\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKelimeler de say\u0131lar kadar sonsuzdu hani, neredeler?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k buna cevap verecek kimse yoktu.<\/span><\/p>\n

S\u00f6yleyece\u011fimiz \u015feylerin sonsuzlu\u011funu iddia eden bu insan gitti\u011finde, her \u015feyiyle gitti\u011fini sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m fakat sonsuz k\u0131lmak istedi\u011fi kelimeleri halen bendeydi sanki. <\/span>\u201cDe\u011fer verme\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/i> demi\u015fti. Benim i\u00e7in dedi\u011fini biliyordum. Beni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, beni sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmemi istemedi\u011fini biliyordum. S\u00f6ylediklerinde ne kadar hakl\u0131 oldu\u011funun da fark\u0131ndayd\u0131m. Ama fark\u0131nda olmak yetmiyordu. Can\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015f kelimelerimin kanlar\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fimin \u00fcst\u00fcnde s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrken, bu kalbe hi\u00e7bir s\u00f6z ge\u00e7miyordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018So\u011fuk\u2019 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ya\u015fayan kelimelerin aras\u0131nda: Hava so\u011fuk, insanlar so\u011fuk, kalpler so\u011fuk. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcyorum.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Uzakla\u015fmak\u2019 vard\u0131: Hayattan, ya\u015famaktan, her bir sevdi\u011fim dostumdan g\u00fcn ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e bir bir uzakla\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018\u00d6l\u00fcm\u2019 sonuncusuydu: Kimse g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor, ama ben her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn biraz daha \u00f6l\u00fcyorum.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Umut\u2019 yoktu, di\u011fer kalanlar gibi o da t\u00fckenmi\u015fti. Geriye hayk\u0131rmak isteyen bir nefes, a\u011flamak isteyen bir \u00e7ift g\u00f6z, yerinden \u00e7\u0131kacakm\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na h\u0131zl\u0131 atan bir kalp kald\u0131. Kilometrelerce ko\u015fmay\u0131 arzulayan ve y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fleyen bir zihinden ibaret olmak istemeyen bir beden vard\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Belki de kalbim yosun tutsayd\u0131, her \u015fey daha g\u00fczel olacakt\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yazar: Beyza Dilara Me\u015feci<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel Kaynak: https:\/\/tr.pinterest.com\/pin\/8655424280105639\/<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018So\u011fuk\u2019 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ya\u015fayan kelimelerin aras\u0131nda: Hava so\u011fuk, insanlar so\u011fuk, kalpler so\u011fuk. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n

\u2018Uzakla\u015fmak\u2019 vard\u0131: Hayattan, ya\u015famaktan, her bir sevdi\u011fim dostumdan g\u00fcn ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e bir bir uzakla\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n

\u2018\u00d6l\u00fcm\u2019 sonuncusuydu: Kimse g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor, ama ben her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn biraz daha \u00f6l\u00fcyorum.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":5171,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,1,3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nY\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 D\u00fc\u015fleme | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/yildizlari-dusleme\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 D\u00fc\u015fleme | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" 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