{"id":5157,"date":"2024-04-23T19:40:36","date_gmt":"2024-04-23T16:40:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=5157"},"modified":"2024-04-23T19:41:36","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T16:41:36","slug":"bahar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bahar","title":{"rendered":"Bahar"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 2 dakikad\u0131r\u2026)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cYa\u015fayanlar i\u00e7in umut her zaman vard\u0131r umutsuzluk \u00f6l\u00fcler i\u00e7indir.\u201d<\/span><\/i> demi\u015f Theokritos.<\/span><\/p>\n

Peki ya arafta kalanlar i\u00e7in de umut var m\u0131? Her g\u00fcn ayn\u0131 pencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131y\u0131 izleyip yitip gideni d\u00fc\u015fleyip geride kalanlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. T\u0131pk\u0131 benim gibi olanlar\u0131\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda sonbahar\u0131n renkleriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yorum en son bir bahar ay\u0131ndayd\u0131k. \u00c7o\u011ful eki\u2026 Oysaki art\u0131k tekilim. Ne zamand\u0131r bu sandalyedeyim bilmiyorum, birisi dizlerimi en sevdi\u011fim battaniyemle \u00f6rtm\u00fc\u015f; kim oldu\u011funu bilmiyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc kimsem kalmad\u0131.<\/i><\/strong>\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Evin sessizli\u011finde yaln\u0131zca buzdolab\u0131n\u0131n u\u011fultusu var; aylard\u0131r bozuk ama evden d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131kacak ya da birini \u00e7a\u011f\u0131racak halde de\u011filim. Kap\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sandalyeden kalkmak i\u00e7in saatlerimi harc\u0131yorum. Sandalyeme geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde so\u011fuk oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in penceremi kapatmak zorunda kal\u0131yorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yeni bir mevsimdeyim. Hangi ayda oldu\u011fumuzu bilmiyorum, pencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda cama ili\u015fen kar tanelerini g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum demek ki mevsimlerden k\u0131\u015f. O gitti\u011finden beri zaman\u0131m\u0131 baharda durdurdum yaln\u0131zca pencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131 izleyen bir hayalete d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Yas s\u00fcrecinin a\u015famalar\u0131 oldu\u011funu biliyorum ama ben sadece inkar etmek istiyorum; i\u00e7imdeki bo\u015fluk bana iyi gelen tek \u015fey ve ben de ona tutunuyorum. Onun izleri her yerde, duvarlarda, bir masada, en sevdi\u011fi kitap olan Hamlet\u2019in sayfalar\u0131nda ve en \u00e7ok da bende\u2026 O ben de kocaman silinmeyecek bir iz b\u0131rakt\u0131 ve ben ondan beri bo\u015flu\u011fa tutunarak ya\u015f\u0131yorum. Bazen akl\u0131ma umut dolu olmayan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler geliyor, sonra Hamlet\u2019ten sat\u0131rlar buna e\u015flik ediyor:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh bu kat\u0131 kaskat\u0131 beden bir da\u011f\u0131lsa<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0Eriyip gitse bir \u00e7iy tanesinde sabah\u0131n!<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Ya da Tanr\u0131 yasak etmemi\u015f olsa\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Kendi kendini \u00f6ld\u00fcrmesini insan\u0131n!\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcm pencerenin kenar\u0131nda yapraklar\u0131 sararm\u0131\u015f olsa da ya\u015famaya devam eden bana ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 o beyaz \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fe kay\u0131yor. Ben de kendimi ba\u015fka bir izde buluyorum ve yaln\u0131zca ya\u015famaya devam ediyorum kaskat\u0131 olmu\u015f ya\u015fl\u0131 bedenimle. Duvar\u0131mda as\u0131l\u0131 olan takvimim d\u00fcnyam\u0131n durdu\u011fu g\u00fcnde tak\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f, o g\u00fcnden beri bir yaprak bile koparmad\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ya\u015famad\u0131m. Sahi telefonun ekran\u0131ndaki tarih benimle alay ediyor. O bana veda edeli tam bir y\u0131l olmu\u015f.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sokaklarda oynayan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n sesleri evime doluyor; g\u00fcne\u015f hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kadar g\u00fczel g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde. A\u011fa\u00e7lardaki yeni tomurcuklanan \u00e7i\u00e7eklere bak\u0131nca bahar\u0131n geldi\u011fini anl\u0131yorum ve art\u0131k pencerem sonuna kadar a\u00e7\u0131k. Pencere kenar\u0131ndaki \u00e7i\u00e7ek de tomurcuklanmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor ama bu beni sinirlendiriyor. Onu elime al\u0131p d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmam benim i\u00e7in bile tahmin edilemez. D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda g\u00fcn \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 bedenime bulan\u0131yor ve uzun zaman sonra ilk kez nefes al\u0131yorum. Ani bir hareketle elimden d\u00fc\u015fen saks\u0131 yerde mahvoluyor. Kendi topra\u011f\u0131yla \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi bo\u011fmak istiyorum ve sonra kendimden utan\u0131yorum. Yapraklar\u0131 sararm\u0131\u015f, uzun zamand\u0131r bak\u0131ms\u0131z olan bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek nas\u0131l hayata umutla tutunabilir bahar i\u00e7in tomurcuk verebilir? Onu k\u0131skan\u0131yorum. Benim i\u00e7in de umut hala var m\u0131?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7imdeki bo\u015flu\u011fu onunla dolduruyorum ve ben ikinci bir nefes al\u0131yorum. Bahar, \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fim, sokakta top oynay\u0131p g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapan \u00e7ocuklar bana umut veriyor ve ben bir y\u0131l sonra ilk kez kendi bedenimde tekrar uyan\u0131yorum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mahvolmu\u015f \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi kucakl\u0131yorum, onu yeni bir saks\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ine koyaca\u011f\u0131m. \u0130kimiz de sararm\u0131\u015f yapraklar\u0131m\u0131za verimsiz olan topra\u011f\u0131m\u0131za ra\u011fmen tomurcuklanaca\u011f\u0131z ve bir g\u00fcn belki ger\u00e7ekten de ilk kez \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131z \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizim i\u00e7in umut hala var ve ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131z.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yazar: Ay\u015feg\u00fcl \u00c7\u0131kr\u0131kc\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel kaynak:\u00a0 https:\/\/tr.pinterest.com\/pin\/611222980706536914\/<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda sonbahar\u0131n renkleriyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yorum en son bir bahar ay\u0131ndayd\u0131k. \u00c7o\u011ful eki\u2026 Oysaki art\u0131k tekilim. Ne zamand\u0131r bu sandalyedeyim bilmiyorum, birisi dizlerimi en sevdi\u011fim battaniyemle \u00f6rtm\u00fc\u015f; kim oldu\u011funu bilmiyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc kimsem kalmad\u0131.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80,"featured_media":5158,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBahar | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bahar\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bahar | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji 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