{"id":4931,"date":"2023-12-14T17:00:23","date_gmt":"2023-12-14T14:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=4931"},"modified":"2023-12-14T18:44:48","modified_gmt":"2023-12-14T15:44:48","slug":"nefes-kadar-yakin-nefret-kadar-uzak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/nefes-kadar-yakin-nefret-kadar-uzak","title":{"rendered":"Nefes Kadar Yak\u0131n, Nefret Kadar Uzak"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunmas\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 3 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir.)<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hava kapal\u0131yd\u0131. Batmaya haz\u0131rlanan g\u00fcne\u015fi arkas\u0131na alan bulutlar t\u00fcm g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc kaplam\u0131\u015f, k\u0131z\u0131lla\u015fan g\u00fcne\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7lerinde tutarak adeta t\u00fcm g\u00f6\u011f\u00fc kana bulam\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Tek t\u00fck arabalar\u0131n ge\u00e7ti\u011fi asfalt yolun kenar\u0131nda y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bir beden, hizas\u0131n\u0131 kaybeden ad\u0131mlar\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 bazen yola sap\u0131yor, bazen dengesizle\u015ferek sars\u0131l\u0131yordu. A\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r ilerlerken nereye gidece\u011fini unuttu\u011fu anlar bile oluyordu. Gidece\u011fi yeri hat\u0131rlamas\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan h\u0131zland\u0131rsa da ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131, hemen sonras\u0131nda tekrar g\u00f6zleri bir bo\u015flu\u011fa dal\u0131p gidiyor; bedeni yeniden bir o yana, bir bu yana sars\u0131l\u0131yordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcn bir \u015fey \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Her daim nefretten uzak kalmak i\u00e7in kendisini t\u00fcketirken, nefretin bir \u00e2nda esiri oluverdi\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendi. Bunu ise ona, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki insan\u0131n kalbini k\u0131rmas\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan par\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcre\u011fine saplanmas\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretti.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uzun s\u00fcre karanl\u0131kta kalm\u0131\u015f bir ruh, suyu bulmu\u015f topra\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fin a\u00e7mas\u0131 gibi, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fckleri yeti\u015ftirirdi i\u00e7inde. T\u00fcm o karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131nda hayat bulmu\u015f canavar g\u00f6zlerini a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e2n ki\u015finin y\u00fcz\u00fcne kim oldu\u011fundan ziyade zihninde bunca zaman neyi bar\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 vururdu. Her ne kadar insan, nefretin i\u00e7inde can bulmu\u015f canavar\u0131n nefesini ensesinde hissetse de onu di\u011fer t\u00fcm d\u00fcnyadan saklamak isterdi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcn insanlar\u0131n kendi i\u00e7lerindeki karanl\u0131ktan bihaber, s\u0131rf onun i\u00e7inde yarat\u0131k yer edindi\u011fi i\u00e7in ya\u015fam\u0131n ortas\u0131nda nas\u0131l yapayaln\u0131z b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cParmaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndan kay\u0131p giden bir hayat, o hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde var olmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir sen. Ke\u015fke can bulsam hayat\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde. Fakat senin nefretin bana cehennem.\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Avu\u00e7lar\u0131 ile iki kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131ca kapatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 zihninde yank\u0131lanan sesleri susturmak ad\u0131na fakat bug\u00fcn, as\u0131l susturmak istedi\u011fi \u015feyin canavar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hat\u0131rl\u0131yordu\u2026 O yarat\u0131\u011f\u0131n hen\u00fcz y\u00fcre\u011finde yuva bulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e2nlar\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocuktu. G\u00fcne\u015fin alt\u0131nda kuruyan toprakta tekrar \u00e7i\u00e7ekler a\u00e7abilsin diye avu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131na doldurup topra\u011fa g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc su birikintisinin g\u00fcne\u015fin alt\u0131nda parlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yordu. Suyun \u00fcst\u00fcnden yans\u0131yan \u0131\u015f\u0131k g\u00f6zlerini kama\u015ft\u0131rsa da ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p parlak g\u00fcne\u015fe bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi\u011fini hat\u0131rl\u0131yordu. Avu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131na s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 su birikintisini topra\u011fa d\u00f6kt\u00fc. Avu\u00e7lar\u0131ndaki su yetmedi topra\u011f\u0131n \u0131slanmas\u0131na, \u00e7ocuk yetti\u011fine inanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zaman o topra\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde \u00e7i\u00e7ek a\u00e7t\u0131rmad\u0131 fakat \u00e7ocu\u011fun o \u00fcst\u00fcne g\u00f6lge d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f ruhunda bir canavar yeti\u015ftirdi. Kimseye g\u00f6stermedi\u011fini san\u0131rd\u0131 onu. Lakin bug\u00fcn, nefret bar\u0131nd\u0131ran nefesinin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden \u00e7ok daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O nefes ne zaman insanlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne vursa yapayaln\u0131z kal\u0131rd\u0131 bir \u00e2nda. \u201cNefret yok ki benim i\u00e7imde\u2026\u201d demek isterdi yaln\u0131z kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e2nlar.\u00a0 \u0130\u00e7indeki nefretten dolay\u0131 m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fman olmu\u015ftu di\u011fer t\u00fcm d\u00fcnya ona? \u201cE\u011fer bir duygu bar\u0131nsayd\u0131 bu y\u00fcrekte, emin olun nefret olmazd\u0131.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nefesini kimse hissedip de uzakla\u015fmas\u0131n diye y\u00fcre\u011finin \u00e7evresine \u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc y\u00fcksek duvarlar\u0131n ard\u0131na tutsak etti canavar\u0131. Bir zaman sonra ise duvarlar\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki karanl\u0131kla beraber ta\u015fla\u015fm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcre\u011fi sevgiyi dahi kabul edemez h\u00e2le geldi. O, sevgisiz y\u00fcre\u011finin sebebini her daim nefret sand\u0131, sanki o su\u00e7lad\u0131klar\u0131 nefretin tek sebebi y\u00fcre\u011findeki karanl\u0131kta bar\u0131nan varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ta kendisiymi\u015f gibi her daim canavar\u0131 su\u00e7lad\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Di\u011ferleriyle kurdu\u011fu ba\u011flar\u0131 ruhunu yuvas\u0131 bilmi\u015f yarat\u0131\u011f\u0131n kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zannederken insanlar\u0131n esas\u0131nda zaman\u0131 geldi\u011finde koparmak ad\u0131na s\u00fcrekli ba\u011flar kurdu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendi. Ona g\u00f6re her \u015fey olabilirdi bu kopan ba\u011flar\u0131n i\u00e7inde: ac\u0131, nefret, \u00e7\u0131kar, mutluluk\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ama sevgi olamazd\u0131.<\/span> \u0130nsan, asla sevgi denen kutsal duyguyu bir g\u00fcn koparmak ad\u0131na kurmazd\u0131.<\/strong> O bug\u00fcn, y\u00fcre\u011findeki canavar nefes almaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan beri kimseye sevgiyle ba\u011flanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etti.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKe\u015fke ben de var olsam hayat\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7inde. Fakat benim nefretim bana cehennem.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

K\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131kla kaplanm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne \u00e7evirdi bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131, nereye gidece\u011fini yeniden unutmu\u015ftu. Bo\u011faz\u0131na kadar dizilen birikintiler saf su\u00e7luluktan olu\u015fuyor, derin bir nefes almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken t\u00fcm o su\u00e7lar nefesin ci\u011ferlerine ula\u015fmas\u0131na engel koyuyordu. K\u0131z\u0131l bulutlar\u0131n yery\u00fcz\u00fcne do\u011fru indi\u011fini hissediyorken dizlerinin \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc gibi ellerinin de kendi kan\u0131na buland\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu g\u00fcnde, g\u00fcne\u015fin \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in dahi su\u00e7layacak kadar i\u00e7indeki varl\u0131ktan nefret etti\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

B\u00fct\u00fcn yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n sebebini i\u00e7indeki yarat\u0131\u011fa ba\u011fl\u0131yorken asl\u0131nda su\u00e7 denen y\u00fck\u00fcn karanl\u0131kta kalm\u0131\u015f yarat\u0131kta ne kadar \u00e7ok birikti\u011fini, nefretini bile o yarat\u0131\u011fa y\u00fckledi\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendi. Yarat\u0131\u011f\u0131n, oldu\u011fu yerden kurtulmak ad\u0131na att\u0131\u011f\u0131 yard\u0131m \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 ne zaman i\u015fitse di\u011fer insanlar\u0131 korkutaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in sustururdu onu, karanl\u0131kta can bulan varl\u0131k susturulduk\u00e7a i\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bedenin ruhuna sald\u0131rd\u0131. Parampar\u00e7a etti y\u00fcre\u011fini.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ine g\u00f6md\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131n kalbine derin yaralar b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00f6fkesinden korktu\u011fu canavar\u0131n asl\u0131nda ne denli k\u0131rg\u0131n oldu\u011funu da par\u00e7alanm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcre\u011finin s\u0131z\u0131s\u0131ndan dolay\u0131 asla fark edemedi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcn \u00e7ok \u015fey \u00f6\u011frendi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Fakat yak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 o yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131na nihai \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc bulabilecek tek ahbab\u0131 canavar iken, asla onu sevmeyi \u00f6\u011frenemedi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yazar: Beyza Dilara Me\u015feci<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel Kaynak: https:\/\/tr.pinterest.com\/pin\/140806232010809\/<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0130nsan, asla sevgi denen kutsal duyguyu bir g\u00fcn koparmak ad\u0131na kurmazd\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":84,"featured_media":4932,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nNefes Kadar Yak\u0131n, Nefret Kadar Uzak | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/nefes-kadar-yakin-nefret-kadar-uzak\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nefes Kadar Yak\u0131n, Nefret Kadar Uzak | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji 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