{"id":4923,"date":"2023-12-07T17:24:47","date_gmt":"2023-12-07T14:24:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=4923"},"modified":"2023-11-27T20:42:14","modified_gmt":"2023-11-27T17:42:14","slug":"bugunun-bilgeliginde-yasam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bugunun-bilgeliginde-yasam","title":{"rendered":"Bug\u00fcn\u00fcn Bilgeli\u011finde Ya\u015fam"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunmas\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 3 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir.)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cD\u00fc\u015fler atlas\u0131ndan yer ar\u0131yorum ruhuma, ger\u00e7eklerin yorgunlu\u011fundan s\u0131\u011f\u0131nabilece\u011fim bir alan ve bilmiyorum sahiden bulabilir miyim b\u00f6yle bir liman. Uzayan gecenin sessizli\u011finde, savrulan bir yapra\u011f\u0131n \u00e7aresiz teslimiyetiyle o d\u00fc\u015f hanesinden bu d\u00fc\u015f hanesine var\u0131yorum. Ruhumun arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yer neresi, hen\u00fcz bulam\u0131yorum. Yorgunum; ger\u00e7eklerin hoyratl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, d\u00fc\u015flerin parlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan. Hangi kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7alsam ya hayat\u0131n ac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131yor kap\u0131y\u0131 ya da d\u00fc\u015flerin sahteli\u011fi. D\u00fc\u015flerimden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorum, ger\u00e7ekli\u011fe var\u0131yorum. Ger\u00e7eklikten ka\u00e7\u0131yorum, d\u00fc\u015flerimde savruluyorum. Denge derdi, ya\u015faman\u0131n alimleri; ya\u015fam\u0131n s\u0131rr\u0131 denge. Dengedeki dengesizlikleri g\u00f6ren bir \u00e7ift g\u00f6ze anlat anlatabildi\u011fin kadar, nedir denge?\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Y\u0131llar sonra tozlu raflardan indirdi\u011fi g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde okudu\u011fu bu sat\u0131rlara inanam\u0131yordu. Nas\u0131l da \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn en g\u00fczel, en verimli \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131n\u0131 anlams\u0131z bir buhranla harcam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sihirli bir de\u011fne\u011fe sahip olmay\u0131 ne \u00e7ok isterdi, o ya\u015flar\u0131nda zihninin \u00fcst\u00fcnde gezinen gri bulutlar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmak ve griyi bile gen\u00e7li\u011fine sevdirebilmek i\u00e7in. Yoktu ne sihir ne de sihirli bir de\u011fnek ve \u015fimdi k\u0131rk be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda k\u0131r\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f aln\u0131 ve kocaman kaz ayaklar\u0131yla \u00e7evrili y\u00fcz\u00fcnde, gen\u00e7li\u011fini buhranl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerle harcaman\u0131n h\u00fczn\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131yordu. Dengeyi sa\u011flamay\u0131 bilmek i\u00e7in ya\u015faman\u0131n alimi olmaya gerek yok be g\u00fczel k\u0131z\u0131m demek isterdi, on sekizli ya\u015flar\u0131ndaki tazeli\u011fine. Dert etti\u011fi onca \u015feyin y\u0131llar i\u00e7inde nas\u0131l yok oldu\u011funu, anlam y\u00fckledi\u011fi onca \u015feyin anlams\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, savruldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u00e2n\u0131n asl\u0131nda onu biraz daha b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda vazge\u00e7mi\u015fti bu kadar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten. D\u00fcn ve yar\u0131n\u0131n olu\u015fturdu\u011fu o koca k\u0131ska\u00e7tan o zaman kurtarabilmi\u015fti ruhunu ve bunu ba\u015fard\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndaki aklar \u00e7oktan \u00e7o\u011falm\u0131\u015f, kaz ayaklar\u0131 \u00e7oktan olu\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gidene yanmayacak, kalana kanmayacak kadar b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc zaman onu. Hep arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131lacak liman\u0131n hi\u00e7bir hayalde olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 b\u00f6ylelikle ve i\u015fte o zaman karar vermi\u015fti. Art\u0131k g\u00fcnl\u00fck tutmayacakt\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc kalemi istemsizce depresifli\u011fe gidiyordu, masadan hep yorgun, k\u0131rg\u0131n ve ma\u011fdur olarak ayr\u0131l\u0131yordu. Ma\u011fdur oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc hangi konuda kendini sarabilir, di\u011fer insanlar\u0131 sevebilirdi ki? Duygular ve davran\u0131\u015flar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerden olu\u015furdu ve o d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinde kendini hep farkl\u0131 ve hep hakl\u0131 olarak \u00e7iziyor istedi\u011fi gibi sonu\u00e7lanmayan her \u015feyden nefret edip kendine ma\u011fduriyet yarat\u0131yordu. Bu yakla\u015f\u0131m ona her ma\u011flubiyette ac\u0131 veriyordu ve gen\u00e7lik ma\u011flubiyetin en \u00e7ok u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6nemdi. Bunu fark etti\u011finde bu gidi\u015fata dur dedi, \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm g\u00fcnl\u00fck tutmay\u0131 b\u0131rakmak de\u011fil do\u011fru bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 in\u015fa etmekti ve sonra da tertemiz bir sayfa a\u00e7\u0131p ya\u015fama yeniden ba\u015flamakt\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00d6yle de yapt\u0131, fark ettikleri yoluna fener yakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o da g\u00fcne\u015fin do\u011fmas\u0131 i\u00e7in var g\u00fcc\u00fcyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck\u00e7e daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ba\u015flad\u0131. Hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin ma\u011fduru, hi\u00e7bir karenin fig\u00fcran\u0131 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na iman edercesine inanana kadar \u00e7abalad\u0131 ve sonunda ba\u015fard\u0131. Kendi masal\u0131n\u0131n kahraman\u0131 oldu\u011fundan emin olan, griyi bile \u00e7ok seven, b\u00fct\u00fcn olumsuzluklarla nas\u0131l ba\u015fa \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f ve k\u00f6t\u00fc olaylar\u0131n \u00f6\u011fretecek g\u00fczel hakikatlerle dolu oldu\u011funu g\u00f6recek kadar olgunla\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir kad\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Y\u0131llar\u0131na mal oldu ama geldi\u011fi nokta b\u00fct\u00fcn pi\u015fmanl\u0131klar\u0131na dahi \u00f6\u011frettikleri i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcr eden bir olgunluktu ve buna de\u011fdi\u011fini \u00e7ok iyi biliyordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eve gelirken masmavi bir g\u00fcnl\u00fck alarak gelmi\u015fti, bunca aradan ve de\u011fi\u015fimden sonra art\u0131k yeniden yazmaya haz\u0131rd\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k kalemi onu incitemezdi; yaln\u0131zca d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini g\u00f6rmesini ve gerekiyorsa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinin de\u011fi\u015fmesini sa\u011flard\u0131. Yeniden g\u00fcnl\u00fck tutmaya ba\u015flayacak olmak i\u00e7inde heyecan uyand\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve o y\u00fczden son yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne g\u00f6z atma ihtiyac\u0131 duymu\u015ftu. Ne kadar yol kat etti\u011finin en net \u00f6rne\u011fiydi elindeki on dokuz ya\u015f\u0131nda yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 mavi y\u00fczl\u00fc tozlanm\u0131\u015f g\u00fcnl\u00fck \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc okumay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131sm\u0131n devam\u0131ndaki c\u00fcmle \u015fuydu: <\/span>\u201cNe dengeyi sa\u011flayabilirim ne de dengesizli\u011fi \u00f6nleyebilirim. Zay\u0131f\u0131m, solgunum ve yorgunum. Mavi bir g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011fe, kara baht\u0131m\u0131 yaz\u0131yorum. S\u00f6ylesene g\u00fcnl\u00fck, sen mavi olup hayat\u0131 \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015ft\u0131rsan ne olur; ben baht\u0131, kara kapl\u0131 deftere i\u015flenmi\u015f bir bedbaht olduktan sonra\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Derin bir i\u00e7 \u00e7ekti, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde de\u011fi\u015fiminden gurur duyan ama ge\u00e7en zamana kar\u015f\u0131 da burukluk i\u00e7eren tebess\u00fcm parl\u0131yordu. Omzunu s\u0131vazlad\u0131 ve yava\u015f\u00e7a bir \u00f6p\u00fcc\u00fck kondurdu, ard\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en zamana at\u0131fta bulunarak kendi kendine konu\u015fmaya ve tertemiz sayfalara sahip yeni masmavi g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne yazmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ah benim k\u0131r\u0131lgan gen\u00e7li\u011fim ne baht\u0131n kara ne de hayat . Pencere sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fey sadece duvarm\u0131\u015f, duvar\u0131n so\u011fu\u011funu hayat sanm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Hayat co\u015fkun akan bir \u0131rmak, \u00e7a\u011flayan bir p\u0131nar, ormanda ko\u015fan bir ceylan, parkta oynayan bir \u00e7ocukmu\u015f.\u00a0<\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00d6n\u00fcmde duran iki mavi kapl\u0131 defter, biri ge\u00e7mi\u015f, biri bug\u00fcn. Bug\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fcnle kirletmeyecek ve pek tabii d\u00fcnden \u00f6\u011frendiklerimi unutmayacak kadar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm. <\/i><\/strong>\u0130\u015fte o y\u00fczden y\u0131llar sonra tekrar yazmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn ilk sayfas\u0131na \u015f\u00f6yle ba\u015fl\u0131yorum:\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

K\u00f6pr\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131ndan \u00e7ok sular akt\u0131<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u015eimdi ne k\u00f6pr\u00fc eski k\u00f6pr\u00fc<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Ne de su eski su<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Var git, e\u011fle\u015fme mazinin k\u0131rlar\u0131nda<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Yitirdi\u011fin zamandan h\u00e2nen zararda<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Durma, yar\u0131nlara ko\u015f<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Ya\u015fam umutlarla ho\u015f\u2026<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\n

*M\u00fczik \u00f6nerisi: Sertab Erener \u2013 Tek Ba\u015f\u0131na<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yazar: \u0130rem Toky\u00fcrek\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel Kaynak: Yazara ait.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ah benim k\u0131r\u0131lgan gen\u00e7li\u011fim ne baht\u0131n kara ne de hayat . Pencere sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fey sadece duvarm\u0131\u015f, duvar\u0131n so\u011fu\u011funu hayat sanm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Hayat co\u015fkun akan bir \u0131rmak, \u00e7a\u011flayan bir p\u0131nar, ormanda ko\u015fan bir ceylan, parkta oynayan bir \u00e7ocukmu\u015f.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00d6n\u00fcmde duran iki mavi kapl\u0131 defter, biri ge\u00e7mi\u015f, biri bug\u00fcn. Bug\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fcnle kirletmeyecek ve pek tabii d\u00fcnden \u00f6\u011frendiklerimi unutmayacak kadar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":81,"featured_media":4926,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBug\u00fcn\u00fcn Bilgeli\u011finde Ya\u015fam | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bugunun-bilgeliginde-yasam\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bug\u00fcn\u00fcn Bilgeli\u011finde Ya\u015fam | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta 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