(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k 3 dakikad\u0131r.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Evden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p siteye ilk ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 at\u0131yorum. Sitenin \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131na gelince asfalt kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131yor beni. Arabalar ge\u00e7erken, kar\u015f\u0131daki yola dikiyorum g\u00f6zlerimi. \u201cAz kald\u0131.\u201d diyip g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyorum. Bir hafta \u00f6nce ke\u015ffetti\u011fim, tarlalar\u0131n ortas\u0131ndaki toprak yola ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 atmama \u00e7ok az kald\u0131. Asl\u0131nda d\u00f6rt y\u0131ld\u0131r kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m sitenin hemen arkas\u0131nda bu bahsetti\u011fim yol. Orada farkl\u0131 bir yol oldu\u011funu ke\u015ffetmem d\u00f6rt y\u0131l s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Arabalardan f\u0131rsat buldu\u011fum anda, yolun giri\u015fine h\u0131zl\u0131 ad\u0131mlarla ilerleyip \u00e7ak\u0131ll\u0131 zemine ula\u015f\u0131p devam ediyorum y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye. Tarlalara varmadan \u00f6nce birka\u00e7 m\u00fcstakil evi ge\u00e7mem gerekiyor, o y\u00fczden ister istemez h\u0131zl\u0131 ad\u0131m at\u0131yorum. K\u0131sa s\u00fcrede toprak yola ula\u015f\u0131yorum. Manzaray\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce kendili\u011finden yava\u015fl\u0131yor bedenim. \u00d6nce batmakta olan g\u00fcne\u015fe dal\u0131p gidiyorum. G\u00f6zlerim bulutlara de\u011fen \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131l paletinde yava\u015f\u00e7a geziyor. Baz\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131llar ta\u015f kadar sert, baz\u0131lar\u0131 ise ipek kadar yumu\u015fak. Her y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015fe \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda oldu\u011fu gibi, sa\u011f taraf\u0131mdan maydanoz kokusu geliyor. G\u00f6zlerimi kapat\u0131p i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum mis kokuyu. G\u00f6zlerimi a\u00e7\u0131nca, her zamanki teyzenin maydanozlar\u0131 toplay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum. En sonunda kar\u015f\u0131daki da\u011flara kadar uzanan tarlalara var\u0131yorum. Tarlalar\u0131n ortas\u0131ndaki yolda, kar\u015f\u0131ma ilk \u00e7\u0131kan kar\u0131nca yuvalar\u0131 oluyor. D\u00fcn yuvalar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m bayat ekmekten eser bile yok. Her geldi\u011fimde onlara vermek i\u00e7in bir \u015fey getiriyorum yan\u0131mda. Bu sefer ha\u015flanm\u0131\u015f yumurta sar\u0131s\u0131 getirdim. Spor yap\u0131yorsan\u0131z, yumurta sar\u0131s\u0131nda \u00e7ok ya\u011f oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in t\u00fcketmemek gerekiyormu\u015f. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck par\u00e7alar haline getirdi\u011fim yumurtalar\u0131, bug\u00fcn besleyece\u011fim yuvan\u0131n giri\u015fine serpip yola devam ediyorum. G\u00fcne\u015f batmak \u00fczere ve k\u0131z\u0131llar iyice ta\u015fla\u015fm\u0131\u015f. G\u00f6zlerim bu sefer de r\u00fczgarda sal\u0131nan bu\u011fdaylara tak\u0131l\u0131yor. Bu kez yerimde durup izlemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum onlar\u0131. G\u00fcne\u015f, ba\u015faklar\u0131n\u0131 yeterince sarartmam\u0131\u015f ve toprak yeterince beslememi\u015f. “Olgunla\u015fmalar\u0131na daha \u00e7ok var san\u0131r\u0131m.” diyorum. G\u00f6zlerimi kapat\u0131p, r\u00fczgar\u0131n onlara de\u011fince \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 sesi dinliyorum. G\u00f6zlerimi a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda birka\u00e7\u0131 ile g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geliyorum ve gayriihtiyari d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. Mesela bu bu\u011fdaylar\u0131 olgunla\u015fmadan, birdenbire k\u00f6klerinden s\u00f6k\u00fcp hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131klar\u0131 bir iklime, hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir topra\u011fa, hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ama ayn\u0131 soydan gelen \u00e7avdarlar\u0131n yan\u0131na eksek… O topra\u011fa tutunmas\u0131na yetecek her \u015feyi yapsak ve tutunsa bir \u015fekilde. Olur mu olmaz m\u0131 bilmiyorum, ama dedim ya “mesela yani”. Etraflar\u0131nda ayn\u0131 soydan gelen \u00e7avdarlar\u2026 Altlar\u0131nda farkl\u0131 vitaminler i\u00e7eren, g\u00f6rece daha verimsiz bir toprak ve sert bir iklim\u2026 G\u00fcne\u015fin ve bulutun k\u0131z\u0131lla alakas\u0131 bile yok. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nas\u0131l hissederlerdi acaba? Topra\u011fa veya \u00e7avdarlara k\u00fcser miydiler? Farkl\u0131 da olsa, yeni evimiz buras\u0131 diyebilir miydiler? G\u00f6n\u00fcllerince b\u00fcy\u00fcyebilirler miydi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biraz zaman ge\u00e7tikten sonra yine ayn\u0131 i\u015flemi uygulasak… \u00c7avdarlara, topra\u011fa ve g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne tam al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m darken, bu sefer de arpalar\u0131n aras\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrsek. Belirli bir s\u00fcre ge\u00e7tikten, yine tam al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k dedikten sonra tekrar, tekrar ve tekrar ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri yapsak, ne hale gelirlerdi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ordan oraya s\u00fcrg\u00fcn edili\u015flerini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcnce ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 hissettim. G\u00f6zlerimden ya\u015flar d\u00f6k\u00fclmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Ne diye bu\u011fdaylar i\u00e7in a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m derken, birdenbire fark ettim ki kendime a\u011fl\u0131yordum asl\u0131nda. Bu\u011fdaylara bakarken aynaya bakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Hayat\u0131m boyunca ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00f6\u00e7lere a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Her seferinde al\u0131\u015fmaya yeni ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m topraklardan s\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcp al\u0131nmam\u0131za a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Topra\u011f\u0131m, g\u00fcne\u015fim ve r\u00fczgar\u0131m yokmu\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na b\u00fcy\u00fcmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam\u0131za a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Ayn\u0131 soydan gelsek de, insanlar\u0131n ve dillerin s\u00fcrekli de\u011fi\u015fmesine a\u011fl\u0131yordum. Sabit bir \u015feyin olmay\u0131\u015f\u0131na a\u011fl\u0131yordum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ya\u015flar\u0131n durulmas\u0131yla birdenbire k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131 ayna. Yans\u0131mam ortadan kalkt\u0131. “Hay\u0131r.” dedim, kimse zorla g\u00f6t\u00fcrmedi sizi. Senin topra\u011f\u0131n da, g\u00fcne\u015fin de, r\u00fczgar\u0131n da var. Dedi\u011fin gibi ayn\u0131 soydan geldiniz, fark\u0131n\u0131z yok. S\u00fcrekli yer de\u011fi\u015ftirdin, evet. Bu sayede farkl\u0131 topraklarda ve r\u00fczgarda nas\u0131l ya\u015fan\u0131r, bunu \u00f6\u011frendin. Boyun ne kadar k\u0131sa kalm\u0131\u015f olsa da, gitti\u011fin her yerden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7e\u015fit \u00e7e\u015fit vitaminle doldu g\u00f6vden; belki de zaman\u0131 gelince hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n kadar boy atacaks\u0131n. Bu\u011fday olman\u0131n \u00f6tesine ge\u00e7eceksin. “Hay\u0131r.” dedim. Hayat sabit de\u011fil. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00fcne\u015f \u00e7oktan batm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc kollar\u0131mla silip yola devam ettim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yazar:<\/em> Deniz Onuk<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “Boyun ne kadar k\u0131sa kalm\u0131\u015f olsa da, gitti\u011fin her yerden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00e7e\u015fit \u00e7e\u015fit vitaminle doldu g\u00f6vden; belki de zaman\u0131 gelince hi\u00e7 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n kadar boy atacaks\u0131n. Bu\u011fday olman\u0131n \u00f6tesine ge\u00e7eceksin. “Hay\u0131r.” dedim. Hayat sabit de\u011fil. “<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":3509,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1,3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n