{"id":2023,"date":"2020-04-20T11:40:06","date_gmt":"2020-04-20T08:40:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=2023"},"modified":"2020-04-20T11:40:09","modified_gmt":"2020-04-20T08:40:09","slug":"prof-dr-jeffrey-a-kottler-ile-roportaj","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/prof-dr-jeffrey-a-kottler-ile-roportaj","title":{"rendered":"Prof. Dr. Jeffrey A. Kottler ile Rop\u00f6rtaj"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

1-) Prof. Dr. Jeffrey A. KOTTLER\u2026 Baylor T\u0131p Fak\u00fcltesi\u2019nin Psikiyatri Menninger ve Davran\u0131\u015f Bilimleri B\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc\u2019nde klinik psikologsunuz. Ayn\u0131 zamanda Peru ve \u0130zlanda\u2019da burslu bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmac\u0131 ve k\u0131demli bir \u00f6\u011fretim g\u00f6revlisi; Yeni Zelanda, Avustralya, Hong Kong, Singapur ve Nepal\u2019de konuk \u00f6\u011fretim \u00fcyesi olarak \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131n\u0131z. Yo\u011fun \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma temponuzun i\u00e7erisine T\u00fcrkiye\u2019yi de katt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, e\u011fitimlerinizle kendilerini geli\u015ftirmek isteyen insanlara \u0131\u015f\u0131k tuttu\u011funuz i\u00e7in size minnettar\u0131z. Sizi daha yak\u0131ndan tan\u0131mak i\u00e7in r\u00f6portaj\u0131m\u0131za ba\u015flayal\u0131m. Sizi e\u011fitim vermek i\u00e7in ikinci kez T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye getiren motivasyon nedir?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d6ncelikle, ge\u00e7en sefer ki ziyaretimde harika arkada\u015flar edinmi\u015ftim ve onlar\u0131 \u00f6zledim. Bu \u00fclkeyi, yemeklerini, k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc, insanlar\u0131n dirayetini -\u00f6zellikle de b\u00f6ylesi zor zamanlarda- \u00e7ok sevdim. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n her yerinde ya\u015fad\u0131m ama T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de en \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fim \u015feyleri bir arada buldum. Turistik mekanlar\u0131, binalar\u0131 falan pek umursamam; ben insanlarla ilgileniyorum. T\u00fcrk \u00f6\u011frenciler ve psikologlar bana o kadar c\u00f6mert, misafirperver ve minnet dolu davrand\u0131lar ki\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2-) Ki\u015fisel geli\u015fim, grup liderli\u011fi, terapistlerin ve \u00f6\u011fretmenlerin profesyonel geli\u015fimi, sosyal adalet, yard\u0131m ve iyile\u015fmeyle ilgili \u00e7e\u015fitli g\u00fcncel konular\u0131 i\u00e7eren ve baz\u0131lar\u0131 en \u00e7ok satan listesine girmi\u015f 100\u2019\u00fcn \u00fczerinde kitab\u0131n yazar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z. Kitaplar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n konusunu neye g\u00f6re se\u00e7iyorsunuz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben kafam\u0131 en \u00e7ok kurcalayan \u015feyleri konu al\u0131yorum. Bende bir yolculu\u011fu olan kitaplar yaz\u0131yorum. Her g\u00fcn yazar\u0131m. \u015eu anda \u00fczerinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m be\u015f farkl\u0131 kitap var, hepsi de farkl\u0131 yaz\u0131m a\u015famalar\u0131nda. Benim her g\u00fcn yazmaya ihtiyac\u0131m var ama s\u00fcrekli yay\u0131nc\u0131lar\u0131, edit\u00f6rleri, bazen de yard\u0131mc\u0131 yazarlar\u0131n kendi k\u0131s\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 yazmalar\u0131n\u0131 bekliyorum. Beklerken de yeni bir \u015fey yazmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. \u015eu anda yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m en heyecan verici kitab\u0131n ad\u0131 Fallen Heroes. Bir d\u00fczine \u00fcnl\u00fc sporcunun zihinsel hastal\u0131klar\u0131yla verdikleri m\u00fccadeleyi, dirayetlerini ve k\u00fcllerinden do\u011fu\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 konu al\u0131yor. M\u00fccadelelerinin niteli\u011fi \u00e7ok etkileyici.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3-) E\u011fitimlerinizi ve terapilerinizi, grubun veya dan\u0131\u015fan\u0131n k\u00fclt\u00fcrel ge\u00e7mi\u015fine ve altyap\u0131s\u0131na g\u00f6re d\u00fczenliyorsunuz. Peki, terapide k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcn etkisini nas\u0131l a\u00e7\u0131klars\u0131n\u0131z?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bana g\u00f6re k\u00fclt\u00fcr; etnik k\u00f6ken, din ya da toplumsal cinsiyetten \u00e7ok daha geni\u015f bir kavram. K\u00fclt\u00fcr; ortak hobileriyle, co\u011frafi konumuyla, ailevi de\u011ferleriyle, mesle\u011fiyle ve daha bir\u00e7ok \u015feyle ilgili ki\u015finin ba\u011fl\u0131 hissetti\u011fi t\u00fcm insan topluluklar\u0131n\u0131 kapsar. Bence b\u00fct\u00fcn bu ba\u011flant\u0131lar\u0131 ke\u015ffetmek, dan\u0131\u015fan\u0131n d\u00fcnya g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc ve deneyimlerini daha iyi anlayabilmemiz i\u00e7in ondan bize yol g\u00f6stermesini istemek \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4-) Bir terapist olman\u0131z ve ayr\u0131ca e\u011fitimleriniz ve kitaplar\u0131n\u0131zda de\u011findikleriniz; insanlara yard\u0131m etmenin sizin temel ama\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131zdan biri oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Ayr\u0131ca Nepalli K\u0131zlar\u0131 G\u00fc\u00e7lendirme Vakf\u0131\u2019n\u0131n (Empower Nepali Girls) da kurucular\u0131ndans\u0131n\u0131z. Nepalli k\u0131z \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na e\u011fitim olana\u011f\u0131 sunuyorsunuz. Bu vak\u0131f nas\u0131l ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131? Onlar\u0131n yan\u0131na gitti\u011finizde ne hissediyorsunuz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Benim amac\u0131m her daim insanlara yard\u0131m etmek de\u011fil; \u00e7o\u011funlukla kendime yard\u0131m etmek. Ama tabii, \u015fu k\u0131sac\u0131k \u00f6mr\u00fcmde yapabildiklerimle hat\u0131rlanmak isterim. Tehlike alt\u0131ndaki Nepalli k\u0131zlar\u0131 kurtarmak i\u00e7in bir Vak\u0131f kurmay\u0131 ben se\u00e7medim; vaziyet bunu gerektirdi ve ben bir se\u00e7im yapm\u0131\u015f gibi hissetmiyorum. E\u011fer ben kararl\u0131l\u0131kla hareket etmeseydim, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u0131z seks ticareti i\u00e7in sat\u0131lacakt\u0131. Bir kez ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 att\u0131ktan sonra da geri d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc yoktu. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7abalar\u0131ma devam etmedi\u011fim takdirde, o k\u0131z yine sat\u0131lacakt\u0131. Madem bu k\u0131za yard\u0131m etmeyi kafama koydum, neden birka\u00e7 tane daha k\u0131za yard\u0131m etmeyeyim ki diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Sonra birka\u00e7 k\u0131za daha. \u015eimdi ise \u00fclke genelinde y\u00fczlerce k\u0131za… B\u00f6ylesi giri\u015fimler \u00f6nceleri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fcr, zamanla kafa dengi insanlardan olu\u015fturdu\u011fu bir tak\u0131m\u0131n omuzlar\u0131nda in\u015fa edilir, b\u00fcy\u00fcr.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nepal\u2019e gidince \u201charap olmu\u015f\u201d hissediyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc eve, s\u0131radan hayat\u0131ma geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde hi\u00e7bir \u015feye ayn\u0131 bakam\u0131yorum. Oradayken anda ya\u015f\u0131yorum. Her g\u00fcn yapabilece\u011fim g\u00fczellikleri g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorum. Para pul ya da gelecek planlar\u0131 beni ilgilendirmiyor. K\u0131zlar\u0131 kuca\u011f\u0131ma al\u0131p hikayeler okuyor, oyunlar oynuyorum. Onlarla hayatlar\u0131yla ilgili muhabbet ediyorum. Bir de ekibimizin aras\u0131ndaki ba\u011f\u0131 ve samimiyeti \u00e7ok seviyorum. Bu \u00e7ok \u00e7etin, \u00e7ok zahmetli bir i\u015f. Hayatta yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m en zor \u015fey. Duygusal olarak da fiziksel olarak da bitkin d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Uykusuzluk \u00e7ekiyorum. Her \u015fey y\u00fcre\u011fime i\u015flemi\u015f, a\u011f\u0131r geliyor. Bazen ba\u015f edemiyorum, y\u00fcre\u011fim kald\u0131rm\u0131yor. Ama bunlar beni hayatta tutuyor, ya\u015fama sevinciyle doluyorum.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5-) Size g\u00f6re bir psikolo\u011fun toplumdaki sorumlulu\u011fu ne olabilir? Bir psikolog olarak sosyal sorumluluk projelerinde nas\u0131l yer edinebiliriz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunun basit bir cevab\u0131 yok. Zamanlamas\u0131 \u00f6nemli. \u0130nsanlar kendi hayatlar\u0131yla me\u015fgul olmaktan o kadar t\u00fckeniyorlar ki kendi hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6tesinde bir \u015feyle u\u011fra\u015fmak i\u00e7in ne zamanlar\u0131 ne takatleri ne de kaynaklar\u0131 kal\u0131yor. Liderlerin, di\u011ferlerini neden kendileri kadar yard\u0131msever olmad\u0131klar\u0131 konusunda azarlay\u0131p a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lamas\u0131ndan nefret ediyorum. Ne yapabiliyorsak, ne zaman yapabiliyorsak \u00f6yle yapal\u0131m. Hepimiz hayatta farkl\u0131 a\u015famalarday\u0131z. Bence \u00f6\u011frencilerin zaten i\u015fi ba\u015f\u0131ndan a\u015fk\u0131n; okula gidip gelmek, masraflar\u0131 \u00f6demek i\u00e7in didinmek, kendilerine bir d\u00fczen kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak yeterince zor. Projelerimde y\u0131llar boyunca y\u00fczlerce \u00f6\u011frenciyi yan\u0131mda g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm ve hi\u00e7 pi\u015fman olmad\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar da ayn\u0131 zamanda maddi ve manevi b\u00fcy\u00fck fedakarl\u0131klar yapt\u0131lar.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

6-)<\/strong> \u0130nsan aynay\u0131 \u00e7evirip kendine bakmaktan, kendini de\u011ferlendirmekten ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131yor \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Ancak mesle\u011finin tabiat\u0131 nedeniyle bir terapistin \u00f6z de\u011ferlendirmeden ka\u00e7\u0131nmas\u0131 \u00e7ok sak\u0131ncal\u0131. Bir terapist, hatalar\u0131n\u0131 de\u011ferlendirebilmek i\u00e7in hangi becerilere sahip olmal\u0131d\u0131r?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bence hatalar\u0131 itiraf etmek ve hatta onlar\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bahsetmek bile fazlas\u0131yla cesaret, \u00e7ok g\u00fcvenli bir ortam ve g\u00fcvenilir meslekta\u015flar gerektiriyor. Benim s\u00fcpervizyon ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m yerlerde bunu yapmak i\u00e7in g\u00fcvenilir bir ortam yoktu. Utand\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r ya da ele\u015ftirilirdik. Bir de terapi \u00e7o\u011fu zaman neler olup bitti\u011fini ger\u00e7ekten anlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, o kadar kafa kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ve gizemli bir s\u00fcre\u00e7ti ki benim i\u00e7in… B\u00f6ylesi bir s\u00fcre\u00e7te hata yapmak can\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ok ama \u00e7ok yak\u0131yordu. Ve hatalar\u0131m; yetersizlik duygumu, yeterince bilmedi\u011fim, yeterince iyi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hissini tetikliyordu. Ama ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 sahiplenmenin ve d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmenin, i\u015fimi \u00e7ok daha iyi yapmam\u0131 sa\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendim. Kendi davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 korkusuzca ele\u015ftiriyorum art\u0131k.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7-) Bir r\u00f6portaj\u0131n\u0131zda sizden ya\u015f\u00e7a b\u00fcy\u00fck meslekta\u015flar\u0131n\u0131za sordu\u011funuz bir soruya rast geldik ve bu soruya bay\u0131ld\u0131k! \u015eimdi biz size ayn\u0131 soruyu sormak istiyoruz: Terapi yapmaya daha yeni ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z o y\u0131llara d\u00f6n\u00fcp kendinize hen\u00fcz \u00f6\u011frenmedi\u011finiz ama bilmeyi diledi\u011finiz bir \u015fey s\u00f6yleme \u015fans\u0131n\u0131z olsa, bu ne olurdu?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bunu ger\u00e7ekten sormu\u015f muyum? Cidden g\u00fczel soruymu\u015f! San\u0131r\u0131m ilk olarak kendime daha \u00e7ok g\u00fcvenmeyi dilerdim. Tamamen etkileri alt\u0131nda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m birka\u00e7 tane \u00e7ok tesirli ve \u00e7ok \u00fcnl\u00fc dan\u0131\u015fman\u0131m vard\u0131. Yaln\u0131zca onlar gibi olmay\u0131 de\u011fil, onlar olmay\u0131 denedim. Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te kendimi kaybettim. Olduk\u00e7a inan\u0131lmazlard\u0131 ama sonunda neye inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bulmak ve onlar\u0131n kafam\u0131n i\u00e7indeki seslerini durdurup kendi sesimi duymak y\u0131llar\u0131m\u0131 ald\u0131. Ama bu benim i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00e7ok uzun s\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\ude0e Sizi May\u0131s ay\u0131nda T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de yeniden g\u00f6rece\u011fimiz, e\u011fitimlerinize tekrar kat\u0131labilece\u011fimiz i\u00e7in \u00e7ok heyecanl\u0131y\u0131z. May\u0131s ve Haziran\u2019da yeniden bir araya gelece\u011fimiz bu 4 e\u011fitimdeki temel vizyonunuz nedir? Bizi neler bekliyor?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsanlar\u0131 birka\u00e7 saatli\u011fine bir odaya toplay\u0131p da onlar\u0131n \u00fczerinde kal\u0131c\u0131 bir etki b\u0131rakmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak ger\u00e7ekten \u00e7ok zor bir \u015fey. Hele bir de \u00e7evirmen arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ileti\u015fim kurmak daha da zor. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla benim i\u015fim DENEY\u0130M. \u00c7ok da yeni bir i\u00e7erik olmayacak. Herkes bir anda her \u015feyi de\u011fi\u015ftirecek sihirli bir de\u011fnek, sihirli bir taktik ar\u0131yor, biliyorum. Ama ger\u00e7ek ve kal\u0131c\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fimler ancak yenilenmekle, hissetmekle, risk almakla, kendinize meydan okumakla olur. Ayr\u0131ca benim s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011fa alerjim var. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn bir odada t\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131p, bitmez t\u00fckenmez bir sunumu izlemekten daha s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 bir \u015fey olamaz. Bence e\u011flenmek ve ba\u011f kurmak \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli. Ben asl\u0131nda o odada b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc bir \u015feyler olsun istiyorum ama bu sadece bana de\u011fil, kat\u0131l\u0131mc\u0131lara da ba\u011fl\u0131. Ge\u00e7en y\u0131lki e\u011fitimlerime kat\u0131lanlardan da gelecek insanlar olacakt\u0131r. Bu y\u00fczden tekrardan ka\u00e7\u0131nmak, hep birlikte yeni ve farkl\u0131 bir \u015fey yarataca\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan emin olmak zorunday\u0131m. Yeni maceralar\u0131mdan, anlatmaya de\u011fer yeni hikayelerle d\u00f6nece\u011fim.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

9-) E\u011fitimlerin i\u00e7eri\u011finden bahsederek sizi biraz daha yak\u0131ndan tan\u0131mak istiyoruz. Mesela \u2018\u2019Terapide ve G\u00fcnl\u00fck Ya\u015famda Hikayelerin G\u00fcc\u00fc\u2019\u2019 e\u011fitimi ile bizlere hikayelerin g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc ve potansiyelini nas\u0131l kullanabilece\u011fimizi anlat\u0131yorsunuz. Peki sizin hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 hangi hikaye de\u011fi\u015ftirdi?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tek bir tane mi? Hikayeler her g\u00fcn hayat\u0131m\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftiriyor \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben s\u00fcrekli bunun pe\u015findeyim. \u015e\u00f6yle biraz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcneyim bakal\u0131m hangi hikaye akl\u0131ma ilk gelecek. Hah tamam, buldum. Bunun hemen akl\u0131ma gelmesinin nedeni de bug\u00fcn gen\u00e7 bir adamla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fecek olmam. Birlikte \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir t\u0131bbiyeli. Tek kolla do\u011fmu\u015f. Ayr\u0131ca kendisi Pakistanl\u0131 ve ailesinde ba\u015fka s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar da var. Tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131ktan sonra ona demi\u015ftim ki \u201cTek bir kolla nas\u0131l t\u0131p fak\u00fcltesini kazand\u0131n, tek bir kolla nas\u0131l doktor olacaks\u0131n?\u201d Eksik koluna do\u011fru bakt\u0131, dedi\u011fime hi\u00e7 anlam verememi\u015f gibi \u201cNas\u0131l yani?\u201d dedi. \u201cBirader bir tane kolun var! Diyorum ki ameliyat gibi \u015feyleri nas\u0131l yapacaks\u0131n?\u201d Sorumu ger\u00e7ekten anlamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc kendisini hi\u00e7bir a\u00e7\u0131dan engelli g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor ya da yapabileceklerini k\u0131s\u0131tl\u0131 olarak alg\u0131lam\u0131yordu. Durumuna tamamen uyum sa\u011flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ve iki kollu insanlar\u0131n yapabildi\u011fi her \u015feyi yapabilece\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Beni tarumar eden sadece cevab\u0131 de\u011fildi, bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylerken o kadar samimi ve hakikiydi ki\u2026 O gen\u00e7 adam\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyorum. Yak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m onca aptalca \u015fey akl\u0131ma geldi o an; s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar, hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131, yanl\u0131\u015f anlamalar, \u00fclkemdeki politika ve politikac\u0131lar -ger\u00e7i bu o kadar da aptalca bir \u015fikayet de\u011fil- ve fark ettim ki dirayet ve cesaret insana her da\u011f\u0131 a\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

10-) Liderli\u011fin art\u0131k g\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fam\u0131n her yerinde kullan\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve geli\u015ftirebilece\u011fimiz \u201cbir beceri\u201d oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsunuz. \u2018\u2019Liderlik Hakk\u0131nda Bilmedikleriniz ama Belki de Bilmeniz Gerekenler\u2019\u2019 kitab\u0131n\u0131zda liderlik becerisini geli\u015ftirmenin yollar\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131yorsunuz. K\u0131saca liderli\u011fin do\u011fu\u015ftan olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7iziyorsunuz. Peki, bu iyi lider kimli\u011finizin ge\u00e7mi\u015fine inecek olursak gen\u00e7lik y\u0131llar\u0131n\u0131zda da bu derece iyi bir lider miydiniz? \u00c7ocuklu\u011funuz nas\u0131ld\u0131? Etkilendi\u011finiz bir lider var m\u0131yd\u0131?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ben bir\u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131 olan, \u00e7ok utanga\u00e7, i\u00e7e kapan\u0131k, g\u00fcvensiz bir \u00e7ocuktum. G\u00f6rme s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m, \u00f6\u011frenme s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131m, \u00f6zg\u00fcven eksikli\u011fim, ailevi s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u2026 Hayatta pek bir \u015fey ba\u015farabilece\u011fimi zannetmezdim. Ta ki yazabildi\u011fimi ke\u015ffedene kadar. \u0130\u00e7 d\u00fcnyam\u0131 \u00e7ok tesirli bi\u00e7imde aktarabildi\u011fimi fark ettim. \u00c7ekti\u011fim s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n, asl\u0131nda di\u011fer insanlara ula\u015fmam\u0131 sa\u011flayan bir k\u00f6pr\u00fc oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla lider  olmam, ancak bir \u00f6\u011fretmen olarak kendi sesimi ke\u015ffettikten sonraya rast gelir. Benim \u00f6\u011fretmenlerimin \u00e7o\u011fu riyak\u00e2rd\u0131, k\u00f6t\u00fc kalpliydi, \u00f6\u011frencilerinden beklediklerini kendileri yapamazd\u0131. Ben liderli\u011fin, her \u015feyden \u00f6nce, ba\u015fkalar\u0131ndan bekledi\u011fin ki\u015fi olmak anlam\u0131na geldi\u011fini fark ettim. Bu y\u00fczden, her Allah\u2019\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fc, daha iyi bir insan olabilmek, insanlara daha \u00e7ok \u015fefkat ve merhamet ula\u015ft\u0131rabilmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. <\/em>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

11-) \u2018\u2019\u0130li\u015fkilerin G\u00fcc\u00fc: Psikoterapide ve Terapistin Hayat\u0131nda\u2019\u2019 e\u011fitiminizde terap\u00f6tik ili\u015fkinin \u00f6nemini vurguluyorsunuz. Hangi terapi y\u00f6ntemi uygulan\u0131rsa uygulans\u0131n, iyile\u015fmenin ancak dan\u0131\u015fan ve terapist aras\u0131nda g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir ba\u011f kuruldu\u011funda m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsunuz. Siz dan\u0131\u015fanlar\u0131n\u0131zla bu ba\u011f\u0131 kurarken nelere dikkat ediyorsunuz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Terapideki ili\u015fkilerin hepsi birbirinden farkl\u0131d\u0131r. Y\u0131llar i\u00e7inde \u00f6\u011frendim ki; iki taraf i\u00e7in de en elveri\u015fli ili\u015fki bi\u00e7imi iyi gelece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir \u015feyi dayatmaktansa, dan\u0131\u015fanla uzla\u015fmaktan ge\u00e7iyor. E\u011fitimler de ayn\u0131. E\u011fitimlerime \u00e7ok haz\u0131rlan\u0131r\u0131m. \u00d6nceden haz\u0131rlanm\u0131\u015f bir i\u00e7eri\u011fim ve sunumum da vard\u0131r. Ancak o odada kimlerin oldu\u011funu, nas\u0131l hissettirdi\u011fini, insanlar\u0131n neye nas\u0131l tepki verdi\u011fini, neyin i\u015fe yaramad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rene de\u011fin; ne yapaca\u011f\u0131ma tam olarak karar vermem. Bence i\u015fin anahtar\u0131 do\u011fa\u00e7lama. Bence bir terapistin veya \u00f6\u011fretmenin kat\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131. Benim en \u00e7ok beslendi\u011fim kaynak esnekli\u011fim ve bedeli ne olursa olsun insanlarla ba\u011f kurmaya olan hevesim. \u015eu an ben bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 yazarken de olan \u015fey bu asl\u0131nda. Kime yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmiyorum. Kar\u015f\u0131mda kimseyi g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorum. Yazd\u0131klar\u0131ma nas\u0131l tepki verdi\u011finizi bilmiyorum. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011fu kadar d\u00fcr\u00fcst ve hakiki yazarak sizinle bir ba\u011f kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc e\u011fer sizi g\u00fccendirecek ya da kat\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylersem, beni ancak bana g\u00fcveniyorsan\u0131z affedebilirsiniz.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

12-) E\u011fitimlerinizden, videolar\u0131n\u0131zdan ve kitaplar\u0131n\u0131zdan \u00e7ok etkilendik. Hepsi bize \u015fu s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131: Kusursuzluk. Oysa siz \u2018\u2019En \u00c7ok Ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan ve Hatalar\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00d6\u011freniriz\u2019\u2019 ba\u015fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir e\u011fitim veriyor ve terapideki ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131zdan bahsediyorsunuz. Siz hatalar\u0131n\u0131zla nas\u0131l ba\u015f ediyorsunuz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nan\u0131n benimse akl\u0131mda canlanan tek s\u00f6zc\u00fck KUSURLULUK. Benim kariyerim hatalar\u0131mdan ve ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131mdan konu\u015fmak \u00fczerine kurulu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok az ki\u015fi ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131ndan bahsediyor. Kendime baya\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcklenirim asl\u0131nda. Ama sonra kendimi affederim de. \u00c7ok risk al\u0131r\u0131m. Hi\u00e7 yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyleri denerim. Ha bire. Kendimden \u00e7ok\u00e7a s\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in b\u00f6yle yapar\u0131m. Yaparken de kafadan uydurmaya bay\u0131l\u0131r\u0131m. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla bir \u015feyler garip, yontulmam\u0131\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcnebilir; \u00e7o\u011fu sefer de yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015fe yaramaz. E h\u00e2liyle. E\u011fer dan\u0131\u015fan\u0131m\/\u00f6\u011frencim\/izleyicimle sa\u011flam bir ili\u015fkim varsa, \u00f6nceden kestiremediklerimi affederler ve hayat\u0131m\u0131za devam ederiz. Ama tabii, \u00f6\u011fretti\u011fim \u015feyleri uygulamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Bu g\u00fczel r\u00f6portaj i\u00e7in sizlere \u00e7ok te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederiz. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Her ay Ak\u0131l Defterim’de payla\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z R\u00f6portaj Serisinin bu ayki rop\u00f6rtaj\u0131 Prof. Dr. Jeffrey Kottler ile kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131zda.
\nHer ay birbirinden g\u00fczel konu ve i\u00e7eriklerle uzman g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015flerini birlikte \u00f6\u011frenip tart\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bu seriyi sak\u0131n ka\u00e7\u0131rmay\u0131n!
\nKeyifli okumalar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2024,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,10],"tags":[617,460,279],"yoast_head":"\nProf. Dr. Jeffrey A. Kottler ile Rop\u00f6rtaj | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/prof-dr-jeffrey-a-kottler-ile-roportaj\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Prof. Dr. Jeffrey A. 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