{"id":1831,"date":"2020-04-15T23:20:54","date_gmt":"2020-04-15T20:20:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=1831"},"modified":"2020-04-15T23:20:56","modified_gmt":"2020-04-15T20:20:56","slug":"bazilari","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bazilari","title":{"rendered":"BAZILARI"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Y\u0131l\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131 bitmi\u015f, kalbini dolduran insanlar\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131 da kalbindeki s\u00fcrelerini doldurup gitmi\u015f. Art\u0131k sendeki yerleri seninle uyu\u015fmamaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tm\u0131\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131 yang\u0131n \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131ysa sessizlikle beraber yok olmu\u015f. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r hasar b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131 kocaman bir bo\u015flu\u011fun a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u2026 Baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek hat\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7 \u00e7ekerek, baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zlerini s\u0131k\u0131p ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fka tarafa \u00e7evirerek. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7ok yabanc\u0131, baz\u0131lar\u0131 hala senden par\u00e7alar ta\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131yla kurulan hayallerde dur tu\u015funa bas\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131yla olan hayaller tamamen silinmi\u015f; silmek istedi\u011finize emin  misiniz sorusuna hi\u00e7 teredd\u00fct etmeden evet denilmi\u015f. Aranm\u0131\u015f fakat a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f, aram\u0131\u015f ama a\u00e7mam\u0131\u015f, aram\u0131\u015f fakat tart\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Tekrar denenmi\u015f, olmam\u0131\u015f. Tekrar denenmi\u015f, daha beter olmu\u015f. Olmam\u0131\u015f, zorlanm\u0131\u015f. Tekrar olmam\u0131\u015f, zorlanmam\u0131\u015f. Olmay\u0131nca zorlanmamas\u0131 gereken durumlar\u0131 \u00e7ok zorlayarak tecr\u00fcbe edinmi\u015f. Sonra da bitmi\u015f. Belki de bitti\u011fi san\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131yla bir anda her \u015fey kesilmi\u015f, zaman ge\u00e7mi\u015f, akl\u0131na gelmi\u015f, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n; tekrar gelmi\u015f, yine bir \u015fey yapmam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, sonra s\u00f6yleyecek tek bir kelime bulamam\u0131\u015f, yine de s\u00f6ylemi\u015fsin; ke\u015fkeleri s\u0131ralam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, bir i\u015fe yaramam\u0131\u015f\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131 sendeki yerini sorgulam\u0131\u015f, anlatmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n olmam\u0131\u015f, tekrar tekrar anlatm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n yine olmam\u0131\u015f. Yalanlar s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f, s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f, s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f. Susulmu\u015f. Sonras\u0131nda sa\u011flam san\u0131lan hi\u00e7bir ba\u011f kalmam\u0131\u015f. Her \u015fey yok olmu\u015f. Tekrar \u015fans verilmi\u015f  ama k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131n, k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131n ard\u0131 arkas\u0131 kesilmemi\u015f.Y\u0131prand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, harcand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetmi\u015fsin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131yla baz\u0131 yollardan ge\u00e7mi\u015fsin ve d\u00f6n\u00fcp dola\u015f\u0131p yine o yola \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Bazen seni olmak istemedi\u011fin birine d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc hissetmi\u015f, bazense seni nereye do\u011fru s\u00fcr\u00fckledi\u011fini bilememi\u015fsin. Sonras\u0131nda o ki\u015finin tam olarak kim oldu\u011funu, hayat\u0131nda nas\u0131l bir yere sahip oldu\u011funu sorgulam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Hayat\u0131nda olmamas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini fark\u0131na varm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Ama hayat\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131karmay\u0131 gerektiren cesareti kendinde bulamam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Beklemi\u015fsin, beklemi\u015fsin. Tutunmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Denemi\u015fsin. Deneyerek daha da \u00f6nemini kaybetmi\u015fsin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131na hislerle bakm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. G\u00fczel bir hikaye ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 sanm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, \u00f6yle olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Baz\u0131lar\u0131yla ini\u015fler \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flar, t\u00fcrl\u00fc t\u00fcrl\u00fc dolamba\u00e7lar ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, baz\u0131lar\u0131yla \u00e7ok yorulmu\u015fsun, baz\u0131lar\u0131yla yollar\u0131n\u0131 ay\u0131rman\u0131n ne kadar kolay oldu\u011funu anlam\u0131\u015fs\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck yanl\u0131\u015flar yapm\u0131\u015f, onlardan nefret etmene bile izin vermemi\u015f. Kendi kendine, kendini nas\u0131l bitirdi\u011fini hayretler i\u00e7inde izlemi\u015fsin. \u0130nanma g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc yitirmi\u015f, s\u00f6zlerine itimat edememi\u015fsin. Seni bile isteye g\u00f6zden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kendi g\u00f6zlerinle g\u00f6rmek zorunda b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131 i\u00e7in art\u0131k hissedece\u011fin bir his kalmam\u0131\u015f. Baz\u0131lar\u0131 ba\u015f a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131, baz\u0131lar\u0131 bir yara, baz\u0131lar\u0131 kalbindeki bir s\u0131z\u0131, baz\u0131lar\u0131 akl\u0131n\u0131n alamayaca\u011f\u0131 kadar de\u011fer verip seni mahveden\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Baz\u0131lar\u0131 ve baz\u0131lar\u0131, farkl\u0131 ki\u015filerken bazen ayn\u0131 ki\u015fi bile olabilmi\u015f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yazar: Feray \u00dcnsal<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Y\u0131l\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131 bitmi\u015f, kalbini dolduran insanlar\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131 da kalbindeki s\u00fcrelerini doldurup gitmi\u015f. Art\u0131k sendeki yerleri seninle uyu\u015fmamaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4],"tags":[487,489,488],"yoast_head":"\nBAZILARI | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bazilari\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BAZILARI | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/bazilari\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ak\u0131l 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