{"id":1561,"date":"2017-12-05T11:00:02","date_gmt":"2017-12-05T09:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=1561"},"modified":"2017-12-06T08:23:17","modified_gmt":"2017-12-06T06:23:17","slug":"hatalarla-sevilmek-pratfall-etkisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/hatalarla-sevilmek-pratfall-etkisi","title":{"rendered":"Hatalarla Sevilmek: Pratfall Etkisi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hepimiz hayatta bir \u015feyler ba\u015farmak,<\/span> ba\u015fkalar\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan<\/span> be\u011fenilmek ve onay<\/span>lanmak <\/span>isteriz<\/span>. Bilin\u00e7li ya da bilin\u00e7siz t\u00fcm \u00e7abalar\u0131m\u0131z asl\u0131nda bu y\u00f6nde olur<\/span>. Bu<\/span> istek do\u011fam\u0131zda vard\u0131r<\/span>. <\/span>Dozunda oldu\u011fu s\u00fcrece de ki\u015fiye getirileri olur. <\/span>Ancak ki\u015fi bunlar\u0131 tak\u0131nt\u0131 haline getirip herkesten b\u00f6yle bir beklenti i\u00e7erisine girerse i\u015fte o zaman i\u015fin rengi de\u011fi\u015fir. <\/span>Ki\u015fi istisnas\u0131z herkes taraf\u0131ndan onaylanmak ve sevilmek isterse bunun<\/span> tek yolunun hata yapmamaktan, kusursuz olmaktan ge\u00e7ti\u011fine inan\u0131r. Kendisini hata yapmamaya o kadar <\/span>\u015fartland\u0131r\u0131r<\/span> ki yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sakarl\u0131klar, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck hatalar, en ufak bir dil s\u00fcr\u00e7mesi bile <\/span>\u201cB<\/span>ittim, rezil oldum<\/span>, herkes g\u00fclecek, alay edecek.\u201d<\/span> gibi <\/span>d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce<\/span>lerle<\/span> yerin dibine ge\u00e7mi\u015f hissettirebilir. Bu kimseler genellikle kendilerine asla hata yapma hakk\u0131 verme<\/span>di\u011fi gibi <\/span>hata yapt\u0131klar\u0131nda ise kendilerini en a\u011f\u0131r \u015fekilde ele\u015ftiren m\u00fckemmeliyet\u00e7i kimselerdir. G\u00f6zden d\u00fc\u015fme korkular\u0131 had safhada oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in kendilerine asla esneklik tan\u0131mazlar. <\/span>G<\/span>er\u00e7ek hayatta her an her \u015feyin d\u00f6rt d\u00f6rtl\u00fck olmas\u0131<\/span>n\u0131n<\/span> m\u00fcmk\u00fcn <\/span>olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 unutup i<\/span>\u015flerini, g\u00f6revlerini yapmak ve bir \u015feyleri ba\u015farmak i\u00e7in en m\u00fckemmel ko\u015fullar\u0131n olu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 beklerler, <\/span>\u201c<\/span>ya hep ya hi\u00e7<\/span>\u201d<\/span> mant\u0131\u011f\u0131yla hareket ederler.<\/span> Hata yaparsam sevilmem, yarg\u0131lan\u0131r\u0131m, ele\u015ftirilirim korkusuyla <\/span>\u00e7o\u011fu zaman harekete ge\u00e7mezler ve sonu\u00e7 genelde <\/span>\u201c<\/span>hi\u00e7<\/span>\u201d<\/span> olur.<\/span> Bu kimseler i\u00e7in hata yapmak ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z olmakla ayn\u0131 anlama geldi\u011fi i\u00e7in kendilerini geli\u015ftirme f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 da ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rlar. <\/span>Bu tembelliklerine <\/span>takt\u0131klar\u0131 <\/span>m\u00fckemmeliyet\u00e7ilik<\/span> maskesini g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayatta olumlu ba\u011flamda c\u00fcmle i\u00e7inde kulla<\/span>nmay\u0131 da ihmal etmezler; \u201cBen \u00e7ok m\u00fckemmeliyet\u00e7i bir insan oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u015fi kolay kolay be\u011fenmem, ufak p\u00fcr\u00fczlere gelemem \u00f6yle!\u201d<\/span> Bununla birlikte bu s\u00fcreci kendilerine nas\u0131l zehir ettiklerinin de yine en iyi kendileri fark\u0131ndad\u0131r. <\/span>Bu durum kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131ndaki ki\u015finin hatalar\u0131na tahamm\u00fcls\u00fcz olmalar\u0131na da sebebiyet verebilir. <\/span>Kusursuz olup herkes taraf\u0131ndan <\/span>sevilip onaylanma<\/span> beklentileri masumane <\/span>g\u00f6r\u00fcnse de<\/span> yetersizlik duygusundan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcr ve <\/span>potansiyellerini kullanamamalar\u0131na<\/span>, endi\u015fe ve kayg\u0131 ya\u015famalar\u0131na <\/span>sebep olur.<\/span> Sevilmek i\u00e7in en iyi olma yolunda yap\u0131lan ufak hatalar t\u00f6kezleyip d\u00fc\u015fme sebebi haline gelir, en az b\u00fcy\u00fck hatalar kadar y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 etkileri ki\u015finin korkulu r\u00fcyas\u0131 olur. <\/span>E\u011fer siz de bu konudan muzdaripseniz<\/span> size ufak <\/span>hatalar\u0131n\u0131z g\u00f6zden d\u00fc\u015fme de\u011fil sevilme sebebinizdir desem<\/span>?<\/span> Sizi biraz olsun rahatlat\u0131p bu konudaki y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc hafifletmenize yard\u0131mc\u0131 olabilecek bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmadan bahsetmek istiyorum<\/span>;<\/span> Pratfall Etkisi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaliforniya \u00dcniversitesinden psikolog Elliot Aronson<\/span>\u2019<\/span>\u0131n bu ara\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131nda<\/span>,<\/span> \u00f6\u011frencilere birtak\u0131m sorular soruluyor ve <\/span>verdikleri <\/span>yan\u0131tlar\u0131n ses kayd\u0131 al\u0131n\u0131yor. \u00d6\u011frencilerin bir k\u0131sm\u0131 sorular\u0131 normal bir \u015fekilde yan\u0131tl\u0131yor, di\u011fer k\u0131sm\u0131 ise sorular\u0131 yan\u0131tlarken kahve<\/span>sini<\/span> d\u00f6k\u00fcyor, telaffuz hatalar\u0131 yap\u0131yor. Sonras\u0131nda bu ses kayd\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc bir grup insana dinleten Aronson<\/span>,<\/span> dinleyicilere hangi ki\u015fileri daha \u00e7ok sevdiklerini soruyor. Sonu\u00e7lar g\u00f6steriyor ki hata yapan grup daha i\u00e7ten ve do\u011fal bulunuyor. Pratfall Etkisi k\u0131saca e\u011fer m\u00fckemmel de\u011filseniz insanlar\u0131n sizi daha sevimli buldu\u011fundan bahseder.<\/span> Bu etkiye <\/span>g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan <\/span>\u00f6rnek verecek olursak <\/span>kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za en \u00e7ok \u00e7\u0131kan \u00f6rnek<\/span>lerden biri<\/span> Jennifer Lawrence<\/span>\u2019<\/span>in Oscar almaya \u00e7\u0131karken iki kez elbisesine tak\u0131l\u0131p d\u00fc\u015fmesi<\/span> ile<\/span> insanlar\u0131n onu daha sevimli, cana yak\u0131n buldu\u011fu \u00f6rne\u011fidir.<\/span><\/p>\n

San\u0131l\u0131r ki en \u00e7ok sevilen insanlar hata yapmayanlard\u0131r ancak <\/span>bu durumda <\/span>sonu\u00e7 ne yaz\u0131k ki<\/span> t<\/span>am tersi olabilmektedir. Kusursuz duran<\/span>, <\/span>a\u00e7\u0131k vermeyen kimseler daha so\u011fuk alg\u0131lanabilmekted<\/span>ir. \u0130nsanlar bu kimselerle aralar\u0131nda a\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 mesafeler oldu\u011funu, onlar\u0131n ula\u015f\u0131lmaz olduklar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrler. Ayn\u0131 zamanda kusurlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k etmeyen bu ki\u015filerle ayn\u0131 ortamda bulunduklar\u0131nda kendilerini rahat hissedemezler \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hata kabul etmeyen ciddi kimselerdir bunlar. Bunun yan\u0131nda ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde hata ve sakarl\u0131klar yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bunu <\/span>alaya alan insa<\/span>nlar<\/span> ise daha <\/span>\u00f6zg\u00fcvenli <\/span>ve etkileyici olarak alg\u0131lan\u0131rlar<\/span>.<\/span> Bana g\u00f6re ki\u015finin \u00f6zg\u00fcvenli ve kendisiyle bar\u0131\u015f\u0131k olarak alg\u0131lanmas\u0131 sayesinde yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hatalar dikkat \u00e7ekmez veya g\u00f6ze batmaz. \u0130nsanlar gizlemi\u015f olsalar bile kendi hatalar\u0131n\u0131 en iyi bilenler olduklar\u0131ndan kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131nda kendileri gibi hata yapan birilerini g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerinde rahatlama ve ho\u015f g\u00f6rme durumu olu\u015fabilmektedir. Kusursuz olma derdi olmayan kimseler daha i\u00e7imizden biri gibi sempatik, samimi ve do\u011fal olarak alg\u0131land\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 ortamda bulunmak keyifli olur. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yani asl\u0131nda <\/span>kusursuz<\/span> insanlar \u00e7ok so\u011fuk<\/span> ve <\/span>ula\u015f\u0131lmaz bulunurken bu durumda sevilmek i\u00e7in yap<\/span>\u0131lmas\u0131<\/span> gereken \u015fey asl\u0131nda \u00e7ok basit<\/span>. \u0130<\/span>lla hata yap\u0131n demiyorum, sadece hata yapma hakk\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 elinizden almay\u0131n, hata yaparsan\u0131z kabullenin ve b\u00f6yle ufak hatalar\u0131 \u00e7ok da ciddiye almay\u0131n. K<\/span>apasitenin \u00fczerine \u00e7\u0131kmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak gibi ger\u00e7ek d\u0131\u015f\u0131 hedef ve beklentiler yerine var olan g\u00fc\u00e7 ke\u015ffedilip kullan\u0131l\u0131rken yap\u0131lan hatalara g\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fcp ge\u00e7ilmesi dile\u011fiyle…<\/span><\/p>\n

YAZAR:<\/em> Bahar KAYA<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hepimiz hayatta bir \u015feyler ba\u015farmak, ba\u015fkalar\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan be\u011fenilmek ve onaylanmak isteriz. Bilin\u00e7li ya da bilin\u00e7siz t\u00fcm \u00e7abalar\u0131m\u0131z asl\u0131nda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":1562,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4],"tags":[17,426,205,425,12,19],"yoast_head":"\nHatalarla Sevilmek: Pratfall Etkisi | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/hatalarla-sevilmek-pratfall-etkisi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hatalarla Sevilmek: Pratfall Etkisi | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji 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