(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k \u00fc\u00e7 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn mutlak h\u00e2kimi oydu. Maviliklerin evi oldu\u011fundan neredeyse emindi. U\u00e7suz bucaks\u0131z hayat sahnesinin onun kanatlar\u0131yla var oldu\u011fundan hen\u00fcz haberi yoktu. Gece g\u00fcnd\u00fcz demeden kanat \u00e7\u0131rpar, g\u00fcn\u00fcn her saatinin kusursuzca i\u015fledi\u011finden emin olmak isterdi. D\u00fcnya d\u00fczeninin do\u011frulu\u011funa sorgulamadan inanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u00fcm g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc bug\u00fcn dola\u015fmak zorundaym\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na kanat \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131\u011f\u0131 esnada, hesaba katmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir kaza ger\u00e7ekle\u015fti. \u00c7\u0131rp\u0131nmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama nafile. \u201cBitti art\u0131k, devam edemeyece\u011fim\u2026\u201d Bilincini kaybeden mart\u0131 her \u015feyin sonunun geldi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kendine geldi\u011finde u\u00e7maya yeltendi, fakat kanatlar\u0131nda derin bir ac\u0131 hissetti. D\u00fcnyas\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Hayat\u0131n\u0131n geri kalan\u0131nda kanatlanamama ihtimaliyle y\u00fczle\u015fmek t\u00fcm ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irmesine sebep oldu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKanatlar \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck demekti. Sonsuz mavilikler benim g\u00f6lgemle renkleniyordu. Ait oldu\u011fum yeri kaybetmeme ramak kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u201d D\u00fcnyan\u0131n g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcs\u00fcne kendini kapt\u0131rmas\u0131 hayatta en sevdi\u011fini, \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, elinden alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sahi hayat\u0131n hakk\u0131n\u0131 verebilmi\u015f miydi? Senelerini ondan beklenen sorumluluklar\u0131 yerine getirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak heba etmi\u015fti. Ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n tamam\u0131n\u0131, t\u00fcm bu ko\u015fturmacan\u0131n kalabal\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan kurtulmay\u0131 ve yaln\u0131zca keyfi i\u00e7in kanatlar\u0131yla dans etmeyi \u00fcmit ederek ge\u00e7irdi. Peki ya \u015fimdi ne olacakt\u0131?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mart\u0131 art\u0131k hayattaki amac\u0131n\u0131n maviliklere h\u00fckmetmekten fazlas\u0131 oldu\u011funu anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. As\u0131l mesele g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne y\u00fckseldi\u011finde etraf\u0131n\u0131 ayd\u0131nlatabilmekti, hissetti\u011fi \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn kanatlar\u0131na verdi\u011fi g\u00fcc\u00fc kucaklayabilmekti, kalp at\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 her hissetti\u011finde heyecanlanmaya devam edebilmekti. Hayat belki de yaln\u0131zca var olabilmekti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Senelerdir inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 do\u011frular\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131da silebilecek miydi? Sorgulamak, ruhunun derinlerindeki s\u0131z\u0131y\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Can\u0131n\u0131n yanmas\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015f yola sapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlam\u0131na m\u0131 gelirdi? \u201cM\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil! Senelerce bir yalana inanm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Ac\u0131 i\u00e7inde oldu\u011fumun fark\u0131nda bile de\u011fildim, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yapmam gerekenleri yap\u0131yordum; hayal ettiklerimi de\u011fil.\u201d Zihninde beliren seslere engel olam\u0131yordu. Ger\u00e7ekler her zaman ac\u0131 verici miydi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mart\u0131 i\u00e7indeki yank\u0131ya kulak verdik\u00e7e sessizlik b\u00fcy\u00fcyordu. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnden, evim dedi\u011fi yerden, \u00e7ok uzaktayd\u0131. Evine yabanc\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye, kendinden \u015f\u00fcphe duymaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131; oysa as\u0131l mesafeyi kendine koydu\u011funu \u00e7ok ge\u00e7 fark etti. Kanatlar\u0131yla s\u00fcz\u00fclemedi\u011fi her an i\u00e7in pi\u015fmanl\u0131kla k\u0131vran\u0131yordu. \u201cSenelerce kendimden ka\u00e7t\u0131m. Zannettim ki s\u00fcr\u00fcye ayak uydurursam ba\u015farabilirim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Zannettim ki hi\u00e7 durmadan \u00e7abalarsam hak etti\u011fimi alabilirim. Zannettim ki kalbimin sesine kulak verirsem s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn gerisinde kal\u0131r\u0131m. Zannettim ki di\u011fer mart\u0131lar beni \u00f6nemsedikleri i\u00e7in yarg\u0131 da\u011f\u0131t\u0131rlar\u2026 Yan\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bedeli ise bu defa hayallerime m\u00e2l olmu\u015ftu.\u201d R\u00fczg\u00e2r, yaral\u0131 kanatlar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndan esip ge\u00e7erken adeta f\u0131s\u0131ldar gibiydi: \u201cU\u00e7mak i\u00e7in kanatlar\u0131na veya birinin gelip seni kurtarmas\u0131na ihtiyac\u0131n yok. \u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck bazen g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde durmadan s\u00fcz\u00fclmek de\u011fil; yere d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde bile maviliklere ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirdi\u011findeki cesaretinde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Usulca g\u00f6zlerini kapad\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ine yava\u015f\u00e7a yay\u0131lan huzura kendini b\u0131rakt\u0131. Belki bir g\u00fcn yeniden u\u00e7abilirdi, belki de hi\u00e7 u\u00e7amayacakt\u0131. Art\u0131k biliyordu, kalbinin anahtar\u0131n\u0131 bulmu\u015ftu. Baz\u0131 u\u00e7u\u015flar kanatlarla de\u011fil kalple ba\u015flard\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Melike Karaba\u015f<\/p>\n\n\n\n G\u00f6rsel kayna\u011f\u0131 yapay zek\u00e2 taraf\u0131ndan olu\u015fturulmu\u015ftur. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00d6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck bazen g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde durmadan s\u00fcz\u00fclmek de\u011fil; yere d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde bile maviliklere ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirdi\u011findeki cesaretinde sakl\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n