{"id":4956,"date":"2023-12-23T20:28:54","date_gmt":"2023-12-23T17:28:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=4956"},"modified":"2023-12-23T20:28:54","modified_gmt":"2023-12-23T17:28:54","slug":"ruzgarin-sedasi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/ruzgarin-sedasi","title":{"rendered":"R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u2019\u0131n Sedas\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunmas\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 4 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir.)\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

G\u00fcne\u015fin ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 penceresinden girmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sabah\u0131n sekizine kurdu\u011fu alarm sesini duyamadan yoldan gelen korna sesiyle g\u00f6zlerini ayn\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 g\u00fcnlerden birine a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yava\u015f yava\u015f do\u011fruldu. Aya\u011fa kalk\u0131p kahve yapmaya koyuldu. Art\u0131k tad\u0131n\u0131 dahi alamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu kahveleri neden yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyor ama bir cevap bulam\u0131yordu. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini makinan\u0131n tiz ve katlan\u0131lmaz sesi kesti. Nas\u0131l bir sesti ki bu, b\u00f6yle k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcrede kendisini sinirlendirmeyi ba\u015far\u0131yordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Haz\u0131rland\u0131, i\u015fe gitmesi gerekiyordu. \u0130\u015f, her t\u00fcrden insana ve onlar\u0131n tuhaf sohbetlerine saatlerce katlanmas\u0131 gereken cehennem. Evden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131, dura\u011fa indi. D\u00fcn, ondan \u00f6nceki g\u00fcn yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve yar\u0131n, ondan sonraki g\u00fcn yapaca\u011f\u0131 gibi. Her g\u00fcn selamla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 teyze, i\u015fte orada duruyordu. Yine telefonla konu\u015fuyor; o y\u00fcksek, k\u0131zg\u0131n, dikkatsiz sesiyse arabalar\u0131n u\u011fultusuna kar\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. \u00c7evresindeki t\u00fcm bu olup bitenler, duydu\u011fu t\u00fcm sesler; i\u00e7inde tuttu\u011fu t\u00fcm duygular\u0131 birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor, nefes almas\u0131n\u0131 dahi zorla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yordu. Nihayet otob\u00fcs geldi. Ne b\u00fcy\u00fck s\u00fcrpriz, oturacak yer kalmam\u0131\u015f!<\/span><\/p>\n

Otob\u00fcs harekete ge\u00e7ti\u011finde ge\u00e7irece\u011fi g\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00c7ok da zorlanm\u0131yordu bunu yaparken. Masas\u0131na oturacak, dosyalar\u0131 incelemeye ba\u015flayacak ve devaml\u0131 uyarmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen dibine kadar gelip ba\u011f\u0131ran \u00e7ayc\u0131n\u0131n sesiyle irkilecekti. \u0130\u00e7indeki s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 daha da b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc. Etraf\u0131 izleyip kafas\u0131n\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmak istedi ama her yer insanlarla doluydu. \u0130nece\u011fi dura\u011fa en az on be\u015f dakika daha vard\u0131. En az\u0131ndan burada kimse konu\u015fmuyordu. Herkes kendi ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n dertlerindeydi. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne tam tebess\u00fcme benzer bir ifade yerle\u015fiyordu ki \u015fof\u00f6r yapt\u0131 yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, t\u00fcm arac\u0131 inleten tuhaf m\u00fcziklerden birini a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ne gerek vard\u0131 \u015fimdi buna? \u0130tiraz etmeli miydi? Belki de dikkate al\u0131rd\u0131. Vazge\u00e7ti, sonu\u00e7ta az sonra inecek de\u011fil miydi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Ofisten i\u00e7eri girdi. Masas\u0131na do\u011fru ilerledi. Birden durdu, \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kendisinin oturmas\u0131 gereken yerde bir yabanc\u0131 durmu\u015f kahve i\u00e7iyordu. Ne oluyor demeye kalmadan arkas\u0131ndan biri seslendi. D\u00f6nd\u00fc, bakt\u0131, m\u00fcd\u00fcr\u00fc nefes nefese kalm\u0131\u015f ona bak\u0131yordu:<\/span><\/p>\n

-Neredesin? Her yerde seni ar\u0131yorum!<\/span><\/p>\n

-Yeni geldim<\/span><\/p>\n

-Tamam, her neyse. Seni Seda ile tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131ray\u0131m. \u0130\u015fe bug\u00fcn ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Ona senin yard\u0131mc\u0131 olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledim.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sesini al\u00e7altt\u0131, sanki bir giz verecekmi\u015f gibi konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131:<\/span><\/p>\n

-Seda patronun bir tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131. Kimseye s\u00f6ylenmesin dediler ama ben seni tan\u0131r\u0131m, huysuzluk etme i\u015finden olursun! Benden demesi.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 daha da artm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inde farkl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler dola\u015f\u0131yor ama hepsi ayn\u0131 kap\u0131ya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu. Nereden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu kad\u0131n? Ne \u00f6\u011fretecekti ona? Nas\u0131l biriydi? Ne kadar katlanacakt\u0131 ona?<\/span><\/p>\n

M\u00fcd\u00fcr gitti. Ba\u015f ba\u015fa kalm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemek istiyor ama s\u00f6ze nerden ba\u015flayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilemiyordu. Seda bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesini anlam\u0131\u015f olacak s\u00f6ze girdi:<\/span><\/p>\n

-Merhaba, benim pek bir deneyimim yok ama h\u0131zl\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenirim. Hi\u00e7 merak etmeyin zorluk \u00e7\u0131karmam.<\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde utanga\u00e7 bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme vard\u0131. Sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki per\u00e7emler; beyaz teniyle dans edercesine s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyor, duda\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kenar\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck gamzeleriyle bulu\u015fuyordu. Mavi g\u00f6zlerinde \u00f6yle bir derinlik vard\u0131 ki insan\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye zorluyordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

-Ho\u015f geldiniz, memnun oldum.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yan\u0131na geldi, tam oturuyordu ki durdu. Bir sandalye daha getirmek i\u00e7in etrafa bak\u0131nd\u0131. Sandalyelerin bir\u00e7o\u011fu bo\u015ftu ama yan\u0131nda y\u00f6resinde dikilip konu\u015fan insanlar y\u00fcz\u00fcnden-i\u015fle alakal\u0131 \u00f6nemli konular oldu\u011funa emindi(!)- sandalyeyi al\u0131p almamak konusunda karars\u0131zd\u0131. Seda onu bu durumdan kurtard\u0131. Daha do\u011frusu kendisi etrafa bakarken o gidip al\u0131p gelmi\u015fti.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fe koyuldular. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn neyi nas\u0131l yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 en ince ayr\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131yla anlatt\u0131. Seda hakl\u0131yd\u0131, ger\u00e7ekten de \u00e7ok \u00e7abuk \u00f6\u011freniyor, onu yormuyordu. Hatta \u00f6yle ki birka\u00e7 saatin ard\u0131ndan keyif ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zaman ge\u00e7iyordu, ge\u00e7erken de etraf\u0131n s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131, gece yar\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131dan damlayan suyun sesi kadar insan\u0131n ruhuna ac\u0131 \u00e7ektiren kuru g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcy\u00fc de al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Ak\u015fam olmu\u015ftu. Birbirlerine iyi ak\u015famlar dileyip ayr\u0131ld\u0131lar.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dura\u011fa indi\u011finde i\u00e7indeki s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n uykuya dalm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu fark etti. Belki bir tav\u015fan uykusuydu bu. Ama uyumu\u015ftu i\u015fte. Bir s\u00fcre dokunmayacakt\u0131 ona.<\/span><\/p>\n

Alarm \u00e7ald\u0131. Yataktan kalkt\u0131 ve kahve yapt\u0131. Her ne kadar d\u00fcn\u00fcn ayn\u0131s\u0131 gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnse de i\u00e7inden bir \u015feyler farkl\u0131yd\u0131. D\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordu, ne olmu\u015ftu? Sadece i\u015f konu\u015ftu\u011fu bir yabanc\u0131 nas\u0131l olmu\u015ftu da t\u00fcm sabah\u0131n\u0131 i\u015fgal edebilmi\u015fti? \u201cAma g\u00fczel bir yabanc\u0131\u201d bu c\u00fcmleyi kurarken g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyordu! \u0130yice allak bullak olmu\u015ftu. Haz\u0131rlan\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Dura\u011fa indi, teyze ile selamla\u015ft\u0131. Kad\u0131n telefonda konu\u015fuyordu:<\/span><\/p>\n

-\u00dcst\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0131k\u0131 giyin e mi kuzum benim. Bak sak\u0131n a\u00e7 kalma, ilk tatilde de gel yan\u0131ma, \u00f6zledim. Hadi kapat\u0131yorum can\u0131m k\u0131z\u0131m benim.<\/span><\/p>\n

K\u0131z\u0131 m\u0131 vard\u0131? Belli ki uzakta ya\u015f\u0131yor, belki okuyor belki \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Kad\u0131n\u0131 incelemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Her g\u00fcn g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bu ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131nda yeni bir \u015feyler ar\u0131yordu, buldu da. Kad\u0131n\u0131n kula\u011f\u0131nda i\u015fitme cihaz\u0131 vard\u0131! Demek bu y\u00fczden y\u00fcksek konu\u015fuyordu. Daha \u00f6nce nas\u0131l fark etmemi\u015fti?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span> Ofise geldi. Seda onu bekliyordu. Heyecan\u0131 d\u00fcnden bile fazlayd\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

-G\u00fcnayd\u0131n Seda Han\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

-G\u00fcnayd\u0131n R\u00fczg\u00e2r Bey.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kendisine seslenilmesi hi\u00e7 bu kadar g\u00fczel gelmemi\u015fti R\u00fczg\u00e2r \u2019a. F\u0131rt\u0131na, \u00f6fke, ne zaman ne yapaca\u011f\u0131 belli olmayan tutars\u0131z \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131mlar yerini birden insana ferahl\u0131k veren, sakinle\u015ftiren, huzura g\u00f6t\u00fcren tatl\u0131 bir esinti oluvermi\u015fti Seda\u2019n\u0131n dilinden.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7al\u0131\u015fmaya koyuldular. En son ne zaman biriyle bu kadar uzun ve keyifli \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlayamad\u0131. Bir bardak kahve i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya ara verdiklerinde mutfa\u011fa gitti. Yine ayn\u0131 kalabal\u0131k, karga\u015fa ve sohbetler\u2026 Uzun zamand\u0131r birlikte \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 arkada\u015f\u0131 elindeki foto\u011fraf\u0131 di\u011fer \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlara g\u00f6steriyor, mutluluktan g\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7i parl\u0131yordu. Ne vard\u0131 bu kadar sevinecek? \u0130lk kez kulak kesildi ve konu\u015ftuklar\u0131n\u0131 dinleme ba\u015flad\u0131:<\/span><\/p>\n

-Bak\u0131n ne g\u00fczel g\u00fcl\u00fcyor bebe\u011fimiz. D\u00fcnyada bundan daha harika bir \u015fey olabilir mi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Duyduklar\u0131na inanamad\u0131, adam baba olmu\u015ftu! Oysaki onun evli oldu\u011funu bile bilmiyordu. Her g\u00fcn g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve bazen beraber yemek yedi\u011fi bu adam hayat\u0131n\u0131n en g\u00fczel anlar\u0131n\u0131 kelimelere d\u00f6kerken o kuru g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc san\u0131p k\u0131nam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kimse de uyarmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 onu. Ho\u015f; kim uyaracakt\u0131, etrafta kimseyi g\u00f6r\u00fcyor muydu? O yaln\u0131z bir adamd\u0131. Hep \u00f6yle olmu\u015ftu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Zaten bu y\u00fczdendi ya her \u015fey. T\u00fcm bunlar, g\u00f6remedi\u011fi, hissedemedi\u011fi duygular\u0131n yoksunlu\u011fuydu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yazar: Makbule G\u00fcl Yavuz<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel Kaynak: <\/span>Microsoft Bing AI<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zaten bu y\u00fczdendi ya her \u015fey. T\u00fcm bunlar, g\u00f6remedi\u011fi, hissedemedi\u011fi duygular\u0131n yoksunlu\u011fuydu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":4957,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nR\u00fczg\u00e2r\u2019\u0131n Sedas\u0131 | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/ruzgarin-sedasi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u2019\u0131n Sedas\u0131 | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden 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