{"id":4780,"date":"2023-09-23T19:00:26","date_gmt":"2023-09-23T16:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=4780"},"modified":"2023-09-22T18:34:57","modified_gmt":"2023-09-22T15:34:57","slug":"zihnimden-hallice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/zihnimden-hallice","title":{"rendered":"Zihnimden Hallice"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunma s\u00fcresi yakla\u015f\u0131k olarak 2 dakikad\u0131r.)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Akl\u0131ma tasa, kalbime co\u015fku d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e2n yazmaya g\u00fcd\u00fcleniyorum. Parmaklar\u0131m k\u0131p\u0131rdan\u0131yor kelimelere can vermek i\u00e7in. Sabahlar\u0131 alarm ertelemekten ya\u015fam\u0131 ertelemeye do\u011fru giden bir yolun endi\u015fesini resmediyorum. Kalbim \u00f6ks\u00fcz kald\u0131 haf\u0131zamla aras\u0131ndaki ar\u0131zal\u0131 ba\u011f y\u00fcz\u00fcnden. Ufald\u0131 ufald\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken bayramlarda verilen o be\u015f lira har\u00e7l\u0131kla bakkala giderdim. Can\u0131m ne istiyorsa al\u0131rd\u0131m ve hi\u00e7 bitmezdi o para. Ben de doyamazd\u0131m harcamaya. \u0130\u015fte bu kadar sonsuzdu s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z sevgim ve b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc hislerimi misafir eden kalbimin odas\u0131. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fte \u00e7ak\u0131l\u0131 kalmak gelece\u011fi de kendisine benzer k\u0131l\u0131yor her anlamda. E tabii d\u00fcn kadar etmeyen bug\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcn insanlar\u0131, ko\u015fullar\u0131, dinami\u011fi de cabas\u0131. Ah, y\u00fcre\u011fi kanl\u0131 m\u00e2bedim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Fazla maddeci bir toplulu\u011fun dayan\u0131lmaz yapayl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla bo\u011fu\u015fuyorum soyut d\u00fcnyamda. Kelimeler zihnimde k\u00f6\u015fe kapmaca oynuyor.<\/span> Sonra bir \u00e2nda ellerim, kollar\u0131m, bacaklar\u0131m zapt edilemez h\u00e2le geliyor. Esasen fark\u0131nda oldu\u011fum\u00a0 t\u00fcm bu h\u00e2llerimi yeni yeni adland\u0131rabiliyorum: SAATL\u0130 BOMBA. Evet, ben bir saatli bombay\u0131m. Kendime bile \u201cbeklenmedik olmak\u201d… \u00dcstelik bu durumlar\u0131n komutas\u0131 da bende de\u011fil zaman zaman. Beynimin i\u015fleyi\u015fi, itici durumlar derken yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m eylem ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnsel faaliyetler zamanla kendime yabanc\u0131la\u015fmama sebebiyet veriyor. Size de oluyor mu bilmem ama ki\u015fili\u011fimi tan\u0131mlamakta zorlan\u0131r h\u00e2le geliyorum. Daha ben kendime etiketler bi\u00e7mekte ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zsam, her bir kafadan ba\u015fka bir ben tan\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ok ola\u011fan asl\u0131nda. Belki bu sat\u0131rlar\u0131 kendi perspektifinizde anlamland\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken \u00e7ok dolayl\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn yollar\u0131 kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilirsiniz. Bazen benim de akl\u0131ma tak\u0131l\u0131r bu h\u00e2l, fakat sonra, olduk\u00e7a kompleks olan ak\u0131\u015fa iyi bir filtre g\u00f6revi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc kan\u0131s\u0131na var\u0131r\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sorunlarla garip bir yar\u0131\u015f i\u00e7indeyim ama finale \u00e7ok yak\u0131n\u0131z. Hani bir \u015fey d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm olur \u00e7\u00f6zemezsin. Sonra sen onu \u00e7\u00f6zene kadar yeni bir d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm daha olur. Bu d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmler belli bir \u00e7oklu\u011fa ula\u015ft\u0131ktan sonra o d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc bir daha hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u00f6zemezsin. Tam olarak bu noktaya \u00e7ok yak\u0131n\u0131m i\u015fte. Sonunda o ipi komple koparmak zorunda kalaca\u011f\u0131m. Mevzu ipi nas\u0131l kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131mla patlak verecek san\u0131yorum. Ya ipleri komple kesip yok edece\u011fim ya da ipin yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 kesip yeni ba\u015ftan d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6zece\u011fim. \u0130lk olas\u0131l\u0131k ayn\u0131 zamanda tek olas\u0131l\u0131k. Evet, olas\u0131l\u0131ktan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p mutlak olaca\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcn cesaretini hep muhafaza ederim i\u00e7imde.<\/span><\/p>\n

Haz\u0131r de\u011fil ruhum sonuma.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kim olur ki zaten de\u011fil mi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Dervi\u015f veyahut bir deli mi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Bolca soru i\u015faretleri ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme eylemi.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00d6yle bir karma\u015fa ki bu, aynam bulan\u0131k. Ve \u00f6yle yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir beste ki bu, tutkular\u0131m\u0131 k\u00fcl edecek.<\/span><\/p>\n

Konuk Yazar: Aleyna Y\u0131lmaz<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6rsel: <\/span>Dilara Elif Demiriz<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaynak: https:\/\/www.intagram.com\/artbyded\/<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fazla maddeci bir toplulu\u011fun dayan\u0131lmaz yapayl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla bo\u011fu\u015fuyorum soyut d\u00fcnyamda. Kelimeler zihnimde k\u00f6\u015fe kapmaca oynuyor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":85,"featured_media":4781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nZihnimden Hallice | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/zihnimden-hallice\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Zihnimden Hallice | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" 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