{"id":3350,"date":"2021-09-02T19:10:24","date_gmt":"2021-09-02T16:10:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/?p=3350"},"modified":"2021-09-02T19:22:56","modified_gmt":"2021-09-02T16:22:56","slug":"baglanma-uzerine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/baglanma-uzerine","title":{"rendered":"Ba\u011flanma \u00dczerine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Ba\u011flanma, iki ki\u015fi aras\u0131nda kurulan \u00f6zel bir duygudan olu\u015fmaktad\u0131r. Bireyin ba\u015fka bir ki\u015fi ile yak\u0131nl\u0131k kurma e\u011filimi ve onun sayesinde kendini g\u00fcvende hissetmesidir. Ba\u011flanma ile ilgili ilk ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131 John <\/a>Bowlby ve arkada\u015flar\u0131 yapm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r. Bence bu duygu yaln\u0131zca insanlara \u00f6zg\u00fc bir durum de\u011fildir. \u0130nsan ve hayvan yavrusu hatta bitkiler dahi ya\u015fam\u0131n ilk y\u0131llar\u0131nda ona bak\u0131m veren ile g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir ba\u011f geli\u015ftirir. Bu durumu g\u00f6zlemleyen biri olarak bu ba\u011f\u0131n ne kadar kuvvetli oldu\u011funu test etmeye gerek dahi duymad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7evremdeki insanlarla, arkada\u015flar\u0131mla, akrabalar\u0131mla ve sevdi\u011fim insan ile kurdu\u011fum ili\u015fkilerle k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmden itibaren ebeveynlerimle kurdu\u011fum ba\u011flant\u0131 benzer nitelikte. Zannediyorum yaln\u0131zca a\u00e7 oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in “emme” davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015f de\u011fildim. Huzurlu olmay\u0131, kendimi g\u00fcvende hissetmeyi o denli \u00f6nemsiyorum ki san\u0131r\u0131m bu durumdan \u015fikayet\u00e7i olan bir tek annem de\u011fildi. \u0130lkokuldayken annemin ard\u0131ndan a\u011flay\u0131\u015flar\u0131m, babam\u0131n parkta ba\u015fka \u00e7ocuklarla oyunlar oynay\u0131\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131klar\u0131m\u2026 Art\u0131k g\u00fcvenli mi, ka\u00e7\u0131ngan m\u0131, kayg\u0131l\u0131 m\u0131 yoksa korkulu mu oldu\u011funa siz karar verin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ba\u011flanmayacaks\u0131n hi\u00e7bir \u015feye, \u00f6yle k\u00f6r\u00fc k\u00f6r\u00fcne<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“O olmazsa ya\u015fayamam\u201d demeyeceksin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Demeyeceksin i\u015fte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya\u015fars\u0131n \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00d6yle beylik laflar etmeye gerek yok ki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7ok sevmeyeceksin mesela. O daha az severse k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rs\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Can Y\u00fccel<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendimi yaln\u0131z hissetti\u011fim d\u00f6nemlerde \u201cinsan ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d krizine girerdim \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Beni annem gibi sevebilecek, babam gibi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ok\u015fayabilecek bir dost, bir yolda\u015f, bir s\u0131rda\u015f, bir partner aray\u0131\u015f\u0131m san\u0131r\u0131m “kayg\u0131l\u0131 ba\u011flanma” modeline girer. Kendimi de\u011fersiz hissedi\u015fim, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 kendimden \u00fcst\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm kendime bir alem olamay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131n portresidir. Bence yavru maymunlar temas konusunda sonuna kadar hakl\u0131lar. Do\u011far do\u011fmaz t\u0131rmanma \u00f6zelli\u011fine her ne kadar sahip olmasam da b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e annemin kuyruklu ete\u011fi, babam\u0131n kol saatiydim. Dostlar\u0131m\u0131n c\u00fczdan\u0131, sevdi\u011fimin sa\u00e7 teliydim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir bak\u0131\u015f\u0131n can verdi kurumu\u015f topra\u011f\u0131ma<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn i\u00e7imde binlerce lamba yakar<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Erdem Beyaz\u0131t<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir insana “hi\u00e7” gibi davranmak ne c\u00fcretk\u00e2r davran\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u00c7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir bebe\u011fin annesini aray\u0131\u015f\u0131 ve bu aray\u0131\u015fa kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verilmeyince \u015fiddetli a\u011flay\u0131\u015flar\u0131n oldu\u011funu \u00e7o\u011fumuz biliriz. Y\u00fcz y\u00fcze ileti\u015fimde g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen yumu\u015fac\u0131k dudaklar ve tatl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131\u015flar vard\u0131r. Bu denli cennetin ucundan tatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z duygular\u0131 geri \u00e7evirebilmek elbette zorlu olacakt\u0131r. Yabanc\u0131 durum testlerinde annenin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ile yoklu\u011fu aras\u0131ndaki tepkiler A\u2019s\u0131, B\u2019si ve C\u2019sinin yaln\u0131zca \u00e7ocukluktaki ba\u011flanma d\u00fczeyiyle kalmaz. \u00c7ocukken B tipi ba\u011flanma (G\u00fcvenli) d\u00fczeyindeyken gen\u00e7lik y\u0131llar\u0131nda sevdi\u011fi taraf\u0131ndan terk edilme durumu ya\u015farken birey bunu A tipi (Ka\u00e7\u0131ngan) veya C tipi (Kayg\u0131l\u0131) ba\u011flanma olarak fark\u0131nda olmadan de\u011fi\u015ftirebilir. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0130nsana “hi\u00e7” gibi davranmak cehennemin odununu yok saymakt\u0131r asl\u0131nda. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yazar: Ertu\u011frul Akmaz<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

”Kendimi yaln\u0131z hissetti\u011fim d\u00f6nemlerde \u201cinsan ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d krizine girerdim \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Beni annem gibi sevebilecek, babam gibi ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ok\u015fayabilecek bir dost, bir yolda\u015f, bir s\u0131rda\u015f, bir partner aray\u0131\u015f\u0131m san\u0131r\u0131m “kayg\u0131l\u0131 ba\u011flanma” modeline girer.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":3351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBa\u011flanma \u00dczerine | Ak\u0131l Defterim<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/baglanma-uzerine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ba\u011flanma \u00dczerine | Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikoloji \u00f6\u011frencilerinin kaleminden yaz\u0131lar.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/baglanma-uzerine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Ak\u0131l Defterim\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/tpocg\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-02T16:10:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-09-02T16:22:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.tpocg.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/Ba\u011flanma-\u00dczerine.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"400\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"499\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Konuk Yazar\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta 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