(Bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n okunmas\u0131 yakla\u015f\u0131k 4 dakika s\u00fcrmektedir.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gen\u00e7 adam bir elindeki mektuba bir de kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki dalgal\u0131 denize bak\u0131yor, derin nefesler alarak g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 durdurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. K\u00f6rfezin k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131ndaki banka oturdu\u011funda hen\u00fcz g\u00fcne\u015f sar\u0131 \u0131\u015f\u0131klarla tepede par\u0131ld\u0131yordu. \u015eimdiyse ufuk \u00e7izgisine yakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, s\u00fcrekli iskeleler aras\u0131 mekik dokuyan vapurlara g\u00f6lge d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Bunca saattir orada oturuyordu ancak ne etraf\u0131ndan ge\u00e7en insanlar\u0131n ne akan zaman\u0131n ne de d\u00f6nen d\u00fcnyan\u0131n fark\u0131ndayd\u0131. Yaln\u0131zca dalgalara odaklanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. T\u0131pk\u0131 onun ruhu gibi k\u0131zg\u0131n ve par\u00e7alanm\u0131\u015f, k\u0131y\u0131ya vurup duran dalgalar… \u0130skeleden kalkan vapurun sesiyle zihni onu ge\u00e7mi\u015fe ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131. Arkada\u015f\u0131yla y\u0131llar \u00f6nce yapt\u0131klar\u0131 gemi gezisine gitmi\u015fti bir anda. Turkuaz ve ye\u015filin deniz ve karada her tarafa yay\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131, beyaz geminin dalgalar\u0131 yararken arkas\u0131ndan k\u00f6p\u00fckler sa\u00e7\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131, k\u0131zg\u0131n g\u00fcne\u015fin alt\u0131nda kokteyllerini i\u00e7erken sa\u00e7ma sapan konulardan konu\u015fup att\u0131klar\u0131 kahkahalar\u0131 ve her g\u00fcn yar\u0131 sarho\u015f dola\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 adalar\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131. Ne kadar da rahat ne kadar da mutlulard\u0131. Ak\u0131llar\u0131nda tek bir endi\u015fe olmadan o limandan bu limana gezmi\u015fler, hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi umursamam\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Arkada\u015f\u0131 her zaman onun i\u00e7in bir ilham kayna\u011f\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6zg\u00fcr ruhu, tasas\u0131z kalbi ve i\u00e7indeki \u00e7ocu\u011fu asla \u00fczmeyen laubali ama \u00e7ekici tav\u0131rlar\u0131ndan \u00e7ok etkilenirdi. Ne politika ne din ne ahlak \u00f6nemliydi onun i\u00e7in. \u00d6nemli olan tek \u015fey kendini mutlu etmekti. Ama \u015fimdi biliyordu ki \u00f6nemli olan ba\u015fka \u015feyler de varm\u0131\u015f. Zira elinde tuttu\u011fu mektup bunun kan\u0131t\u0131yd\u0131. Arkada\u015f\u0131 bunca zamand\u0131r \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl bir hastal\u0131kla bo\u011fu\u015fmu\u015ftu. Ve bunu ona hi\u00e7 s\u00f6ylememi\u015fti bile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSeninleyken yeniden do\u011fmu\u015f gibi hissediyorum; sanki d\u00fcnya anlams\u0131zm\u0131\u015f, anlaml\u0131 olan bir tek \u015fimdi ve benmi\u015fim, t\u00fcm dertlerim \u00f6nemsizmi\u015f gibi hafifliyorum demi\u015ftin. Nas\u0131l olur da sana \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc s\u00f6ylerdim. Ben bu hastal\u0131\u011fa ba\u011fl\u0131 ya\u015fasam bile senin \u00f6yle ya\u015famana izin veremezdim. Fark\u0131na varman\u0131 sa\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve sevgiyi elinden alamazd\u0131m. O y\u00fczden saklad\u0131m. Ve kendimden \u00e7ok senin mutlu olman\u0131, benden \u00e7ok senin ya\u015faman\u0131 istedim. O y\u00fczden ben gittikten sonra da ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z gibi ya\u015famaya devam etmeni istiyorum. Sana vasiyetim budur dostum, mutlu ol, \u00f6zg\u00fcr ol.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 art\u0131k mektubu \u0131slatmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bir anda h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131rarak a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Etraf\u0131nda onca insan\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131, ona bakmalar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6nemsemeden. \u201cBeyefendi iyi misiniz?\u201d Ona do\u011fru e\u011filmi\u015f pe\u00e7ete uzatan kad\u0131n\u0131 da duymadan. A\u011flad\u0131, a\u011flad\u0131, a\u011flad\u0131\u2026 Elindeki mektup s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam olmu\u015f, hafif y\u0131rt\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 art\u0131k. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sonunda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcne\u015f \u00e7oktan batm\u0131\u015f, yerini yar\u0131maya b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u015eehir \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131ndan y\u0131ld\u0131zlar g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc karanl\u0131kt\u0131. Y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bu g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc ona kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 and\u0131rd\u0131. I\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve g\u00fczelli\u011fini yitirmi\u015fti. Tam da arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n ondan d\u00fc\u015fmesini istemedi\u011fi yere d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. \u201cEn b\u00fcy\u00fck korkum yoklu\u011fumda, \u00f6nceleri at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fun dipsiz ve karanl\u0131k kuyuya yeniden d\u00fc\u015fmen, buz gibi karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde yaln\u0131z kalman. Hassas birisin ve bu en sevdi\u011fim \u00f6zelli\u011findi hep. Tabii sana hi\u00e7 s\u00f6ylemedim. Beni g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve dimdik bir model olarak g\u00f6rmeni tercih ettim. B\u00f6ylece ben de \u00f6yle hissettim ve senin k\u0131r\u0131lganl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan beslendim. Kendimi de seni de daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc k\u0131lmak i\u00e7in u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131m. Ama ben yokken kendini koy veremezsin. O kuyuya geri d\u00f6nemezsin. Bir kez kanatlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p u\u00e7tuktan sonra olmaz. O y\u00fczden d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc hissetti\u011fin anda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r ve bana g\u00fcl\u00fcmse. Ben de sana g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor olaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gen\u00e7 adam g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131. Ve g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. \u0130\u00e7ten, kocaman bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeydi bu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ve sonra, bir y\u0131ld\u0131z kayd\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yazar: G\u00f6ksu Keskin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
”D\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc hissetti\u011fin anda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r ve bana g\u00fcl\u00fcmse. Ben de sana g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor olaca\u011f\u0131m.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":3174,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n